Chosen One of the Day: Janine from Ghostbusters

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May 10, 2017, 4:08 PM EDT (Updated)

Janine from Ghostbusters. My light. My love.

The Ghostbusters' secretary utterly indispensable assistant who kept the boys from nuking themselves, Janine, for me, is one of those characters who I didn't realize had such a strong impact until I'd grown up and could reflect on my long, confusing childhood in its entirety. She embodies everything I aspire to be in life. Starting with:

- Ruthlessly sarcastic.

- Judgmental of her fellow man (I already have that one on lockdown).

- Confident and willing to stand up for herself even in potentially uncomfortable situations (still working on that one).

- Fashionable.

You can keep your jumpsuits.

- Competent. The office would fall apart without her.

- Some people think she’s too intellectual.

- Unimpeachable phone manner.

- Sexually assertive.

- Unimpressed with Bill Murray. Look, I know he's Bill Murray and all, but there's the fact that he seems like kind of a dick to be around. I don't have the time for it, and neither does Janine.

- Unimpressed with jackass men in general.

- But not with Egon Spengler, objectively the best Ghostbuster, just as Donatello is objectively the best Ninja Turtle, no questions, come at me. She wanted that spores, molds and fungus-collecting uber-nerd and went after him like the hot confident woman she knows she is. She'd have rocked his world if for some reason she hadn't been paired with Louis Tully in the sequel, which is to this day something that I refuse to acknowledge without a minimum of two alcoholic beverages in my system. It's wrong and it's ridiculous and Louis is fine, but Janine is better than that. Janine/Egon is the highest tier of ship for me. It's a Dido ship. And you know you're not screwing around when something's a Dido ship.

Look at this! It's true love!

I'm a Ghostbusters 2 apologist, but taking Janine/Egon away from us is really too much.

- Finally and most importantly, the great Janine Melnitz is played by the great Annie Potts. We should all be so lucky.

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