On Gotham's Beware the Green-Eyed Monster, the more things change...

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Dec 2, 2016, 7:22 AM EST (Updated)

Previously on Gotham ... the Court has Mario's death planned, Barbara wants Penguin canned, and Tabitha done lost her hand.

Now on Gotham ... Ed figures out what's up, Bruce and Selina make a little pick-up, and Gordon's in trouble with everyone again. Yup.

"Beware the Green-Eyed Monster" is Gotham's fall finale. So, where do we leave things?


- Barbara tells Ed that Oswald is in love with him and Ed's like LOL WUT NO WAI! Yes, just like the O RLY Owl. But then, gasp, Ed just, like, hmmmm ... decides he'll double-check real quick and Penguin's all "I LOVE YOU LET'S BE TOGETHER FOREVER OMG XOXOX GOSSIP GIRL" until Ed says no. It's real sad, y'all. Oh, and then Ed also realizes that, yes, Penguin totally killed his dead girlfriend, Isabella. On the one hand, Ed tells Oswald that they are best friends still, which is sweet. On the other hand, Ed goes to Barbara, Tabitha and Butch and strikes a deal to "destroy" Oswald??? Hey, it's a cliffhanger!

- Do you remember the Whisper Gang from last episode who were helping Bruce find the secret whatsit macguffin that will take down the Court of Owls? Remember when it seemed like they all got killed off? Well, good news, everybody! Some of them are still alive. And by "still alive," I mean they tell Bruce, Selina and Alfred where the secret safe of secret safe-iness is hid before all being brutally slaughtered by the court. So, good news everybody! NOW, the Whisper Gang are all dead. Wee! Anyway, Selina doesn't want to help Bruce because this seems like a trap and also boyfriend problems. But then she does want to help because whatever, LOL. Bruce and Selina are confusing. Bruce and Selina mount a rooftop invasion while Alfred busts through the front gate. There's a lot of fight, fight, fightiness until Selina finds a crytsal owl in a safe (seems helpful) and then Team Wayne's collective bacon is saved by Selina's mom. Who? Yeah, I dunno either. Hey, it's a cliffhanger!

- Hey, you remember those times where James Gordon blunders it and winds up killing someone(s) and being on the opposite side of Johnny law? GUESS WHAT. Yeah. So mario Falcone has the Alice Tetch virus, but he's kind of, sort of, almost in control of it. Look, he tries, okay? Get off Mario's back! He is TRYING. And by "trying," I mean, Mario goes to where the Tetch virus is being experimented on and finds a way to make it seem like he isn't infected, even if he's given a blood test. But why do that, you ask? Well, it's super elaborate, I-can't-believe-this-actually-worked PLAN TIME. Mario sets Gordon on a quest to figure out Mario is infected with the virus. He sends Gordon to see Jervis who rhymes out the Mario-shaped reveal. Then, Mario passes the blood test before basically admitting that, yeah, he's totally crazy before setting Gordon up to freak out at Lee before her wedding. Gordon tells Lee that Mario is a killer, Lee says Mario already told her that Jim was being a stupid jealous fool and not to believe him, soooooo... Jim tells Lee he is IN LOVE WITH HER AND DO NOT MARRY MARIO OMG PLZ STAHP. That works exactly as terribly as you'd expect (way to go, Jim). Mario and Lee get married and skip town. Gordon explains to Carmine Falcone what's going on, but Carmines like, "yeah I know," because he the Court was trying to kill Mario last week and, oh yeah, I guess this makes sense now??? Cool, cool. Gordon shoots a bunch of Carmine's men to convince Carmine to tell Jim where Mario and Lee are. It works. Yup. Only on Gotham, folks. Carmine tells Gordon to make sure Mario DOES. NOT. DIE. Uh huh. Have you seen the show you're on, Camrmine? Hey, it's a cliffhanger!

- Oh, wait, no. Not a cliffhanger yet. Mario seems like he's going to kill Lee out on a lake. But then he doesn't! BUT THEN he's going to kill Lee in a cabin, But then he doesn't! Oh, and Mario doesn't kill Lee the second time (WITH A KNIFE) because Gordon shoots Mario MANY TIMES. And of course, the knife Mario was going to kill Lee with falls into the lake so now it just looks like Gordon killed Mario for funsies. CLIFFHANGER!


James Gordon is a stupid, stupid man, but the best part of this episode is definitely when he's questioning Jervis Tetch. So, basically, Jim wants Jervis to tell him who is infected with the Alice Tetch virus, but Jervis doesn't want to give that info up. So in a rare moment of self-aware lucidity, Gordon decides that, since Jervis loves rhyming, maybe he should spit some rhymes back, rap battle style, and see what happens. Answer: Jervis totally gives up the info by accident. So in case you were wondering who, if anyone was dumber than James Gordon on Gotham, you now have your answer.

The other amusing moment came when Tabitha and Butch were ready to kill Ed. And then Ed shows up. And then Tabitha and Butch are going to kill him, you know, like they said they would, but instead Barbara just makes Ed say "I'm sorry about the whole hand cutty offy thing" and that's it. It's really silly, but also funny in the midst of the sadness that is Ed hating Oswald and wanting to destroy him. Sniff. At least Erin Richards still gets to keep Barbara fun and entertaining.


Okay. So. You remember the many times where Gordon kills people, has to hide the killing, and then runs afoul of the GCPD? I mean, I'm not crazy, right? We did this plot last season, didn't we? SO THEN WHY ARE WE DOING IT AGAIN?! Look. I get it. This time, when Gordon is about to go to jail for murdering someone (again) his dad is probably going to bail him out, thus connecting the GCPD characters back up with Bruce and company. Provisionally, that's swell and all, but could we have done a different dance from one  end of thestage to the other in order to get us there? How many times does "Jim Gordon is bad at his job" need to be a central element of the plot?


As we end the first half of Season 3, there are a lot of balls in the air: Jim killed someone (again), Lee is mad at Jim (again), Bruce is trying to figure out why his parents were killed (again), and Barbara is going to use Ed to destroy Oswald and take over Gotham city's underworld (not again). Carmine is also still in the mix, Jim's father is looming in the shadows with the rest of the Court of Owls, and let's not forget that eventually Fish Mooney and Hugo Strange are going to have to come back. Oh, and also Bruce's twin, who has been AWOL for quite a while will probably return at some point. And Ivy is a trashy idiot. That, too, is happening. So, like I said: balls. The first half of this season has been more miss than hit, but let's all remember that last season was much the same. I think the truth is that Gotham just isn't that great at setting them up so much as they are at knocking them down. And there's a lot of knocking down to be done. So finger's crossed that everything goes straight to hell in a handbasket of deplorables as soon as Gotham Season 3's second half begins.