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roybatty.jpg

Happy birthday (incept date) to Blade Runner's Roy Batty

Contributed by
Default contributor image
Evan Hoovler
Jan 8, 2016

Dear Roy Batty,

Congrats on your incept! 

 

That's right: Today is the activation date for Blade Runner's awesome replicant on the run, played by Rutger Hauer. We truly do live in the future.

Given that they're a traditional celebration for humans, birthdays and their odd customs can make it difficult to retain the secrecy of one's replicant status. To help out, I've compiled a series of do's and don'ts to help Roy remain safe during his special day.

Electric_Knife.jpg
When asked to cut your cake, do not assume the electric knife is a "pleasure model"
And_Many_More.jpg
When Happy Birthday is sung, and the group sings "... and many more," DO NOT reply "...
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When opening presents, DO NOT say "I hope this is that life extender I've been hoping for...
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DO practice smiling when given the command "Happy Birthday," but remember that it is not...
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When blindfolded and asked to pin the tail on the donkey, DO NOT attempt to use the pin to...
Roy_Batty_Rain.jpg
When presented with cake and candles, DO NOT deploy sprinkler system from your skull cavity
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If you are at a restaurant, and a group of employees rushes towards you, DON'T attack them,...
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Tag: Blade Runner
Tag: rutger hauer

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