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Here's proof that you should still love Independence Day (the movie)

Contributed by
Jul 4, 2017

You could, if you wanted to, go out in the world, have a barbecue of some kind, guzzle yon brewski, interact with your neighbors ...

It's the Fourth of July! You can do that!

But why?

I can hear awful children screaming their heads off as I write this, and it fills me with an animosity unbridled toward the sum entirety of the human race that can only be diminished ... by fictional humans.

That's right! Why endure actual folksy folks with their explosives and their inevitable glib political commentary when you can watch Independence Day instead? You've seen it a million times (probably), but that, dear friends, is the allure.

All the things you love will still be there. And, unlike the outside world, all the obnoxious stuff in the movie are things you're already used to. Sure, some people say this movie is silly, unrealistic, over the top and full of stereotypes. But think back to just a few sentences ago when I said you can avoid those people who make fun seemingly impossible.

It's the Fourth of July! You can do that!

Independence Day is the eye of the storm. It's the sound and the fury you can control. And if you need reminding why, if you require some further proof that, yes, Independence Day is your true savior, then look no further than this video retrospective, which I made just for you.

Then watch Independence Day. And if your neighbors' kids have also been screaming since first thing this morning with no sign of ceasing, then might I recommend playing it as loud as you can.

Happy Fourth of July, everybody!