How Lost's Damon Lindelof would reboot the Terminator franchise

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2012

We're not sure when that new Terminator movie will finally get off the ground and onto the screen, but when it finally does, here's an idea—how about making it a comedy?

At least that's the theory Damon Lindelof came up with when asked by Wired for his ideas to freshen up the franchise. Yeah, his tongue was in his cheek, but in this post-Hangover world, maybe that's not such a bad idea.

Here's what he had to say:

The whole "dark depressing futuristic apocalypse" thing is played out. Enough with the machines driving over human skulls. We need us some COMEDY. Look at those numbers for Bridesmaids and Hangover 2. Can you imagine the box office if those movies had HOMICIDAL ROBOTS in them?!? And since we're evoking Arnold's work already (evoking is free, by the way--suck it, lawyers), why not combine Terminator with Schwarzenegger's greatest comedic work?

Yeah. That's right. Kindergarten frigging Cop.

Buckle up. Here comes the gold.

Humans in dystopian future learn that a Terminator traveled back in time and impregnated a woman, resulting in a half-cybernetic child that will grow up to be humankind's DESTROYER! But due to technological ineptitude, we can't lock down the mother's identity (and thus the kid's), narrowing their whereabouts to a school in a pleasant coastal town.

And so our story begins as a gruff, futuristic badass with great comedic chops (we're screwed if the Rock says no) representing the hopes of all humanity travels back to 2012 to identify the half-Terminator 5-year-old by substituting as a kindergarten teacher. And then, after a series of comedic misunderstandings? Kill the little bastard.

Pretty sure we can get a PG-13 as long as no one smokes and when the kid gets shot in the face we do it in a classy way.

And if you want to check out a more serious take from Resident Evil director Paul W.S. Anderson, head on over to Wired

(via /Film)

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