It wasn't astronauts who were drunk. It was aliens.
Alien 1: Duuuuude. My head is aching.
Alien 2: No kidding. Your antennae are bloodshoot, man, they are soooo green!
Alien 1 [moaning]: How much cow anus did I do last night?
Alien 2: I dunno, man, but look at what you did to that field!
Alien 1: Whoa! That's worse than when I dropped those flares on Phoenix!
Alien 2 [laughing]: That was righteous. C'mon. Let's go back to Roswell and pretend we're just wearing costumes.
Alien 3: Gnarly.
Tip o' the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster to Bob at Junkmail.