Ice-T takes gig recording audiobook, finds out it's for Dungeons & Dragons. Hilarity ensues

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Feb 6, 2014, 3:50 PM EST

Remember how weird it was when the rapper known for a little ditty called "Cop Killer" went on to play a cop for over a decade on Law & Order? Yeah. This is way weirder.

There are some things in this world that are not meant to go together. Orange juice and pizza, Joel Schumacher and the Batman franchise, and, most importantly, Ice-T and tabletop gaming.

It's just science.

And yet, somehow Ice-T booked a gig for an audiobook without knowing anything about it. Ice should probably give his agent a strong talking-to, because, in his own words, "They didn't tell me this was a mother#$%@ Dungeons & Dragons book".


In case you somehow thought this story would take an even more unpredictable turn, that everyone rolled a bunch of natural 20s and the recording worked out great in the end  -- no. Just no.

"Crazy, deep, deep, made-up nerd $#!%," is how Ice explains D&D to his listeners on his own podcast. And then it just goes all down hill from there.

"Son, it took me 3.5 hours to read 25 pages."

"Pegasus....Pegasi. That's horses with wings. This $#!% is crazy."

"This mother$@#% got a sword that talks to him. And $#!%."

But don't think that Ice-T is mad and that there's zero silver lining. Quite the contrary. The recording did happen, and so, some sunny day, it will be released. And you can bet on that day I will buy that and listen to Ice-T desperately struggle to get through a fantasy short story. Which apparently involves a flying horse, a talking sword and, potentially, a lot of $#!%. Magical $#!%.

(via Kotaku)