Hey, we don't have anything against naughty Halloween costumes -- the Jersey Shore cast will need something to wear this October, after all. But things have gotten out of hand if we're trying to make Donatello, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, sexy.
In case you're not following, there is no way to make turtles sexy. You just can't. They're turtles. Slow, ugly and beholden to a shell that, while it may have a curve or two, is as far as you can get from supple. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are many things: indie comics trailblazers, franchised cash cows, muscular male crimefighters. They are not fit to be the basis of a costume for shapely young women looking to make a splash at the Trump Taj Mahal's "Saucy Halloween Bash."
Sure, you put a lingerie model in a miniskirt and stripper boots, and she'll make it work. But come on, people. Come. On. I'm pretty sure this costume is one of those seven seals Demi Moore was so worried about.