jacks-frost

Jack Frost, the family holiday film, vs. Jack Frost, the bad horror movie

Contributed by
Dec 24, 2018, 4:38 AM EST (Updated)

In 1997 and 1998, two films were unleashed on unsuspecting audiences, both titled Jack Frost and both telling the tale of a man who dies in a car accident and spends his afterlife as a sentient quipping snowman. The two alarmingly have a lot in common given that one is a family holiday drama and the other is a terrible (maybe on purpose? I legitimately can't tell) horror comedy (?) featuring one of the most problematic played-for-laughs scenes I've ever seen in a horror comedy (?). I promise to spend as little time discussing that as possible. Because there's just so much more to unpack in these very strange films.

Let's start with the differences.

Differences:

Jack Frost (1998) features both Henry Rollins and a Lawrence brother. 

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Jack Frost (1997) features a child, who is clearly way too old for this nonsense, making his father oatmeal with cookies, candy, and antifreeze in it.

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Jack Frost (1998) features the dulcet tones of a deeply Sun-Inned Michael Keaton. 

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Jack Frost (1997) features a woman being decorated to death.

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Jack Frost (1998) was originally written to star George Clooney, who turned it down in favor of Batman and Robin, so they cast a different Batman.

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Jack Frost (1997) features a seductive long-underwear striptease.

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Jack Frost (1998) features this bit of dialogue that might be worse than the dialogue in Jack Frost (1997), and that is saying something.

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Jack Frost (1997) features a man vomiting up our title character.

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Jack Frost (1998) features three Zappas and multiple Mr. Show cast members. 

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Jack Frost (1997) features a woman standing completely normally, like how people stand.

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Jack Frost (1998) features the world's saddest snowman-building scene set to "Landslide."

*talks really fast* And Jack Frost (1997) features a scene in which Shannon Elizabeth's character is raped to death with a carrot, I AM SO SORRY. I PROMISE THIS IS THE ONLY MENTION OF THIS SCENE IN THIS ENTIRE ARTICLE.

ANYWAY MOVING ON PLEASE THANKS.

Similarities:

Both feature a lead character named Jack Frost who becomes a snow man. Obvs.

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Both films feature a main character's son getting bullied by older kids in specifically snow-related ways. 

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Both films feature moms having sink issues. 

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Both feature the title character being threatened with a hair dryer.

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Both feature quips FOR DAYS.

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And both, somehow, feature snowtitties.

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Also, you have zero reason to see either one of these, especially now as I have done it for you and ruined an entire day for myself. Happy holidays, everyone! Make better choices than I do!

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