When I was 12, my parents gave me the choice of where we'd go for vacation. I chose Lancaster, Pa., home of the Amish, looking at quilt work and fighting until you nearly get divorced because there is literally nothing else to do. I thought there could never be a worse vacation spot. Japan, however, is determined to make me incorrect.
Yes, I'm talking about a theme park in Japan called Huis Ten Bosch, which, for some reason, is modeled after ... the Netherlands? And that's not even the weird part. No, the part that will make you go "Oh, right, Japan" is when I tell you that they're planning to open a hotel with a robot staff. Which sounds all well and good until the inevitable malfunction/uprising.
So, what to call this horrible nightmare fuel? Henn-na Hotel, apparently, which translates roughly to "Strange Hotel." No kidding. The hotel's first phase will be open July 17 with 72 rooms and its own motto: "A commitment for evolution." Which, sure. There will be three "actroids," which is a special word meaning ROBOTS WHO WILL KILL US ALL receptionist robots who look like people.
The goal is to keep costs low, but, hey, that doesn't mean there won't be some Big Brother technology available. Facial recognition tech, room service ordered via tablet, radiation panels to detect body heat and adjust temperature automatically ... yes, it all sounds very tempting if you're looking for the last hotel stay you will ever have before being enslaved as a living battery for an army of marauding automatons.
Oh, there's solar power? Fine. The solar-powered facility will have room fees you can bid on. So, dear reader, tell me true -- what do you bid for the robot hotel of doom joy?