When Jeff Goldblum first exposed his shirtless bod on Jurassic Park, he became the unofficial human exhibit to rival all the dinosaurs, which is why, 25 years later, a novelist who specializes in dinosaur erotica is still fascinated with him.
Wait. What? Did someone just say dinosaur erotica?
It totally happened. The Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom star, whose torso is forever on display in the film, hosted a Reddit AMA (which can be almost as dangerous as jumping in a raptor pen) to discuss his upcoming movie Hotel Artemis. Goldblum continued chatting about his live L.A. jazz concerts and pretty much everything but prehistoric lizards until Hugo Award-nominated sci-fi erotica author Chuck Tingle appeared out of nowhere. The conversation was, to say the least, revealing.
Tingle asked Goldblum if he’d be interested in collaborating on a “big time show” about — what else — human-dinosaur erotica. Expect someone who has written novels about a dinosaur magician love triangle, an affair with a billionaire triceratops and space raptors invading unlikely parts of the human anatomy to hatch such a question. While Goldblum didn’t answer that, he caved when Tingle was dying to know what the handsomest type of dinosaur was. The conversation that ensued is going to be the stuff of fanfiction legend.
Spoiler: it wasn’t the billionaire triceratops.
While there is no way to actually prove it was Chuck Tingle, if you’ve ever dared to read one of his interspecies fantasies, you’d agree that it couldn’t possibly be anyone else, because who else would dream up Lawyer Dinosaur, Bad Boy Biker Dinosaur and Handsome Doctor Dinosaur? Of course someone who played a doctor in a movie would have to go with Handsome Doctor Dinosaur. Oh, and you have to love the “Handsome Jeffs” on repeat.
Fiction, uh, finds a way.