“E. A. Sports. It’s, uh, in the game.” That’s how many of us likely imagine idiosyncratic actor Jeff Goldblum would deliver the video game company’s classic pre-game tagline sting. Goldblum’s rambling delivery and infectious weirdness made him the legend he is today, along with pretty impeccable taste in projects like Jurassic Park, The Fly, The Prince of Egypt, and Invasion of the Body Snatchers -- so why couldn’t he make video games better?
That’s what a new video attempts to answer, pitting the press trail-bound actor who’s repping Isle of Dogs and the upcoming Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (in which he's reprising his character from the original) against a number of famous video game quotes that span the art form’s history.
Take a look:
A memorable Grand Theft Auto drive-thru order and Toad’s lament-filled thanks to Mario both come hot off Goldblum’s silver tongue, making even the most hardened anti-gamer soften to his confusion over “All your base are belong to us.” He struggles over syntax to create a surprisingly earnest read of a mistranslated quote that was one of the internet’s first widespread memes.
Metal Gear Solid, The Witcher, Duke Nukem, Mass Effect, and Call of Duty are just some of the franchises that fall under Goldblum's quizzical gaze, and make the vast and talented members of the video game voice acting industry cower.
Nobody can line-read like Goldblum and, thanks to this video, we can now more faithfully write fan fiction where he has brought these characters to life.