Joan Collins returns to American Horror Story: Apocalypse as a few other characters take their leave

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Oct 24, 2018, 11:00 PM EDT

SPOILERS AHEAD for American Horror Story: Apocalypse Episode 7: "Traitor" ...

We are still before the apocalypse. Dinah is, for some reason, the new voodoo queen. Cordelia asks her to summon Papa Legba, the voodoo devil. She wants Papa Legba to open the gates of hell so Cordelia can herd him inside. Legba agrees to this, but the price is the souls of all Cordelia's witches. She refuses, and that is the end of Legba.

Madison finds Bubbles McGee, an actress who left the coven years ago to work on her craft. Her talent is the ability to read minds. Myrtle brings her in for a sumptuous dinner with Ariel and Baldwin, and Bubbles discovers that they killed John Henry and are planning to kill the witches.

Cordelia brings Mallory and a few other witches to the gas station, where Mallory resurrects John Henry. John Henry announces that he wasn't killed by a warlock; he was killed by a woman. Cordelia is immensely offended by this. This resurrection also acts as the 7th Wonder, which Mallory passes. Cordelia decides that she will be the new supreme when she passes -- and hopefully when they destroy the Antichrist.

At the bunker, Baldwin proudly shows off a lethal powder to Ariel, one that will make a person literally bleed out through their pores. Then he reveals that it only works on women, and they have a good laugh, imagining the coven dying. But then Cordelia and her witches march in, set the powder on fire, and seal Ariel and Baldwin's mouths. With the help of a pair of albinos, they take the warlocks along with Mead (who had been abducted by another albino, with Coco's help) and tie them to stakes. Because of a centuries-old decree, Cordelia cannot light the funeral pyre of a warlock; one of their own must do it. John Henry is only too eager to help.

In case you were wondering...

Myrtle was burned at the stake herself at the end of Coven. Two years prior to the apocalypse, Cordelia did a spell to resurrect Myrtle. Frankly, I didn't even wonder about that. Death is never really final in AHS, especially with a bunch of witches running around. I found it random that they needed to show us this resurrection, which almost killed Cordelia.

Dinah is the new voodoo queen

Seven episodes into this season and we are just now finding out that Dinah is actually the new voodoo queen? In the first episode, she was introduced as an Oprah-like actress/talk show host. This almost feels like someone completely forgot who Dinah was set up as, and reintroduced her as a completely new character.

Joan Collins returns

... but now she is a white-haired actress who is also a witch. Her name is Bubbles McGee, which sounds like the name of a ditzy porn actress. Much as with the Dinah issue, this feels like a last-minute way to get more Joan Collins into the season. Her character in the first couple episodes, Eva, was also an actress, but not a witch, apparently.

A Christmas to Dismember

This is totally my kind of film. Similar to Silent Night, Deadly Night, a psychopath escapes a home for the criminally insane, dressed as Santa, and sneaks into people's houses through the chimney, dropping down severed heads like rose petals for a princess to walk across. But the film is presented strangely. The "credit scene" looks like a film set in the 1970s, but then it cuts into standard, widescreen, high-def picture. Then it turns out that this is "now," when Madison collects Bubbles. It's like, pick a time period and stick with it!

Most of Apocalypse actually takes place before the apocalypse.

Which would be fine, using the apocalypse as a framing device. However, the first three episodes are set post-apocalypse. Everything since Episode 4 has been before the apocalypse. It just feels unruly. If only the first episode had been set after, or if the rest of the season was a mix between pre- and post-apocalypse, it would feel much more even. But this... this is just awkward.