If you're wondering how best to pad out The Desolation of Smaug, here's a hint -- dragons, dragons, dragons.
There sure have been two three-hour-long movies so far about a single 300-page book. And while Tolkien certainly wrote a lot of extra tidbits here and there, we're not sure there are enough appendices in all of the shire to justify three Peter Jackson epics.
If only the team from How it Should Have Ended had been consulted. They understand that, if you're basically going to tread into fanfiction territory anyway, it's go big or go home. And so we present to you HiSHE's take on The Desolation of Smaug, which reminds us that eagles are the right answer for every problem, not all dragons are jerks, and if you're going to pointlessly put Legolas in your movie, use him for something other than a boring love triangle.
Dwarven sexual innuendos -- 60 percent of the time, they work every time.