Mmm, sparkly! Unicorn meat is the other other white meat!

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2012, 4:09 PM EST

We've written before about ThinkGeek's awesome array of faux products, but somehow we missed this one, so we're passing it along in case you haven't seen it.

Something so wrong it has to be right: Canned unicorn meat!

Mmm! And only $9.95 a can!

Here's the official description on ThinkGeek:

Pâté is passé. Unicorn - the new white meat.

Excellent source of sparkles!

Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn.

As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

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