Worst Fan Theories

Ned's not dead, an army of fire zombies, and momma Boba Fett: The week's craziest fan theories

Contributed by
Nov 22, 2018

No matter what series they're into, fans tend to have two traits in common: They're extremely creative and not especially patient. Perhaps that's why there are so many fan theories, because fans can't help but try to predict what'll happen in Avengers 4 or explain away some obscure Game of Thrones mystery in the agonizing wait for the final season. Sometimes these theories are right on, but for every "R + L = J" there are hundreds of very, very bad fan theories.

That’s fine! It’s great that fans are being creative with their favorite series. What’s less great is when an entertainment news site decides to pluck one of these specious theories from the safety of a subreddit and present it to a general audience as a plausible theory in order to get your clicks. When that happens, it’s up to SYFY WIRE to debunk these crazy fan theories. We’re not digging into subreddits to find outlandish theories to dunk on, we’re just looking to see which news sites irresponsibly wanted to take you for a ride.

Ned Stark Dies

Ned Stark faked his death

No, no he didn't.

This theory, which is actually pretty old but made the rounds on traffic-hungry websites anew this week [cough] posits that Ned Stark, Game of Thrones’ original main character who famously died in show’s ninth episode, ain’t actually dead. According to the theory, he swapped places with Arya’s fencing instructor Syrio Forel (oh, also Syrio is a Faceless Man in this theory). Since Syrio was destined for death anyways Varys arranged for the two to swap places, and Ned has been chilling… somewhere… waiting for the right time to return. That, or, Ned warged into another form, Bran Stark-style, and in doing so escaped death.

There are all sorts of logical holes in this theory, and it relies on some pretty huge assumptions. (How was Varys able to do all this? Why hasn’t he mentioned it since? Ned originally thought he’d be spared death if he made a false confession, so why bother with the switcheroo plan at all?) More importantly, though, just consider what the point of Ned’s 11th-hour reveal would be. Would that really move the story forward in a thematically rewarding way, or would it be a shock for the sake of being a shock? Also, there’s been no indication that Sean Bean is involved in the eighth season.

If you’re “shook” by this theory, you’re either lying or just not thinking critically enough.

09-game-of-thrones-shireen.w710.h473.2x

A ton of dead Game of Thrones characters will return as fire zombies to defeat the White Walkers

How do you defeat an army of the dead? According to this Redditor’s theory, which at least two outlets aggregated, with another army.

“All characters that have been burned to death/after death by fire will be reincarnated by R’hllor (god of fire/light/red god), user cardiacman writes. Every Wildling who was burned after dying, every wildfire casualty, Shireen Baratheon, Kal Drogo, and more will come back as the anti-White Walker army. Maybe, the theory posits, Bran will use his time travel ability and encourage the Mad King to “burn them all” and add some additional fighters to the army’s ranks.

As with Sean Bean earlier, there’s no indication that Aquaman star Jason Momoa will return for Season 8, but that’s kind of the least of this theory’s problems. The entire show has been building to an army of the living versus the army of the dead, killing of scores of important characters in the process. A fiery mass resurrection, a sort the show has never suggested was possible before, would throw all that momentum away in the series’ final episodes for the sake of bringing back hundreds of randos.

Again, this is a fine little bit of theorizing in its right place, but it’s doing the theory and readers a disservice to pull this not especially upvoted theory from the safety of Reddit and presenting it as a plausible possibility for a mass audience.

Moma Boba Fett

Boba Fett is Luke Skywalker’s mom (via Mark Hamill)

Okay okay — I know this article opened up with a whole thing about how we’re not trying to shame theory creators so much as their irresponsible spread, but I have to dunk on Mark Hamill. Call it a special celebrity edition of The Week’s Craziest Fan Theories.

Hamill, who famously played Luke Skywalker, recently recalled that he had thought making Boba Fett Luke’s mom would be a pretty good twist. “I once suggested it to George [Lucas] as the only way we could top Vader being my father. I envisioned her as a double-agent working clandestinely for the Rebels,” he wrote on Twitter. “SPOILER ALERT: He didn't like my idea.”

To make it clear, what Hamill was suggesting that the mostly silent bounty hunter who debuted in Empire Strikes Back had secretly been Luke Skywalker’s mom, meaning that when Darth Vader hired her to recover Han Solo, the Sith Lord was talking to the mother of his child.

Star Wars fans who are still irked that Lucas made it so Anakin Skywalker created C-3PO will take heart in knowing that he objected to this absurd connection.

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