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Credit: Sony/Marvel/Blumhouse

Nick Fury’s Avengers 4 vision and cyborg Michael Myers: The week’s craziest fan theories

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Nov 1, 2018

No matter what series they’re into, fans tend to have two traits in common: They’re extremely creative and not especially patient. Perhaps that’s why there are so many fan theories, because fans can’t help but try to predict what’ll happen in Avengers 4 or explain away some obscure Game of Thrones mystery in the agonizing wait for the final season. Sometimes, these theories are right-on, but for every “R + L = J” there are hundreds of very, very bad fan theories.

A theory can be bad for a whole bunch of reasons. Perhaps the theory is based on evidence that just isn’t there in the source material, or perhaps it’s not based on anything so much as it’s just elaborate fanfiction. Maybe the theory could technically be true, but it doesn’t make any sense from a narrative perspective. A big twist just for the sake of a big twist isn’t likely if it doesn’t fit into the established storytelling rules that a series has created for itself.

Each week, SYFY WIRE will round-up some of the latest crazy fan theories that are making the rounds online and explain why they’re so absurd. This is not a place for plausible fan theories — this is a place for debunking. This isn’t to say that passionate fans should stop making fan theories; y’all should go nuts. But, maybe don’t believe every fan theory you read.

Nick Fury two eyes

Nick Fury will see the future of the entire MCU in Captain Marvel, and Tony Stark will kill his parents

Redditor sfmarch07 penned a lengthy post outlining their predictions for Captain Marvel and Avengers 4. The tl;dr is that Nick Fury will receive a vision of the future of the MCU in the ‘90s-set Captain Marvel, perhaps via Doctor Strange. Because Nick Fury knows what he needs to do in order to make sure that, decades from now, everything is in place to pull off that 1 in 14 million shot at defeating Thanos, he’ll have been secretly arranging everything in all the movies to get to this point.

“If you go back and watch most of the scenes and post-credit scenes with Nick Fury in the MCU movies, it's like he always knows something that the other characters don't, and knows how to tell them just what they need to hear or he contributes something that makes a big difference with no explanation of how or why he knew to do it,” sfmarch07 writes. From recruiting Iron Man, Hulk, and Captain America, to giving Tony his father’s box in Iron Man 2. Or like at the end of Thor when Fury instructs Erik Selvig to work on the cube. Or in Age of Ultron when he shows up out of nowhere in the barn and then pushes Tony and the team forward to where they ultimately create Vision with the mind stone.”

Part two of this theory posits that, in order to obtain the soul stone, a time-traveling Tony Stark will have to sacrifice something important to him and be responsible for killing his parents.

Here’s the problem with this theory: It does not make sense in the fiction of the MCU, and, more importantly, it does not make sense in the real world. Retconning the entirety of the MCU to have been pre-ordained is a stretch, especially because sfmarch07 is using Fury to explain away small plot holes or narrative gaps in past films.

There is no chance that Disney has been planning for theses plot holes to amount to this fated time-traveling twist for 10 years. That’s just not how movies, which are written and directed by a whole bunch of different people, are made.

Plus, by attempting to “explain” easily-overlooked gaps in storytelling logic, this theory actually makes things much, much more complicated. The MCU isn’t Westworld; sometimes events can just happen because they make for convenient storytelling, not because Samuel L. Jackson has secretly been an agent of fate this whole time.

As for Tony Stark’s parents, sfmarch07 is making a real leap by assuming the film will do the emotional and narrative legwork to set-up his parent’s death a second time, or that it will spend valuable runtime of an already crowded movie on this convoluted plot. Disney’s not gonna make Tony Stark kill his parents.

Halloween 4

Halloween’s Michael Myers is a cyborg made by the evil corporation from Halloween III, the one without Michael Myers

It feels kinda wrong to seriously engage with this theory because it was never really meant to be serious so much as it was a tongue-in-cheek essay. Originally published on Cracked rather than on some subreddit, the much-aggregated theory says that the Silver Shamrock Company, an evil company that made robots and killer masks in Halloween III: Season of the Witch, created Michael Myers cyborgs. That’s why he can’t be killed in all the subsequent movies.

Like, sure, this a fun bit of persuasive writing, but it’s a thought experiment. Make that your own personal headcanon, if you want, but no future Halloween movie is going to pin all this crazy string to a corkboard and retroactively bring a movie into continuity and turn the main character into a robot. Heck, the 2018 Halloween intentionally did away with everything except for the original movie. This ain’t ever gonna happen, but the Cracked story is a still a fun read.

Spider-Man and his costume

Spider-Man has super-seamstry skills because of a spider bite

Spider-Man can do whatever a spider can, but what this theory posits is that spiders can sew dope superhero costumes.

“Something people constantly bring up as a plot hole of sorts with most incarnations of the character is how he can both create and easily repair high quality costume as a teenager with likely no other experience in sewing or costume production/design in general,” Redditor Faxlgad wrote. “I think a solution to this is that the bite gave him another power; seamstry skills on par that of a spider spinning its own webs. This could also be spun (pun intended) to apply to how he knows how to easily produce non-organic webbing.”

This theory is actually pretty fun, more of a shower though than an earnest prediction. It gets a bit of a pass for being more casual than some other grandiose prophecies, but as a theory, it’s falling into trap that many fan theories end up in. Not everything has to be explained. Sure, Spider-Man could, I guess, have super-sewing abilities because of the spider that bit him, but does that really make any more sense than just accepting that a superhero will have a superhero costume? The idea that a spider would have the innate knowledge of how to manipulate spandex and a keen grasp of fashion and graphic design only draws more attention to the inherent ridiculousness of superhero fashion tropes. Just let Spidey have nice clothes.

That said, the idea of the spider from Charlotte's Web making an Iron Man suit is pretty good.

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