No corpse-eating robots or dragon tanks?

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2012, 3:54 PM EST

As the United States wages two wars, dismaying news is breaking about the military's preparedness to deal with its enemies, foreign, domestic and extraterrestrial.

First off, remember those flesh-eating robots the military is developing?

Turns out the Fox News report was a bit exaggerated, the South Florida Business Journal reported:

A Pompano Beach-based technology company has been forced to deny rampant rumors that it is developing a "flesh-eating" robot for the military.

Cyclone Power Technologies (Pink Sheets: CYPW) issued a news release on Friday that said: "Despite the far-reaching reports that this includes human bodies, the public can be assured that the engine Cyclone has developed to power the EATR runs on fuel no scarier than twigs, grass clippings and wood chips. ... Desecration of the dead is a war crime ... and is certainly not something sanctioned by DARPA, Cyclone or RTI."

Then came reports, mainly in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, that President Obama had dispatched an aide to shut down the NEST program in which the military cooperated with the giant Autobots against the ruthless and rapacious Decepticon menace.

Now comes news that yet another forward-thinking military project is getting the ax, as reported on The Onion, below.

What next? Will Prime Minister Gordon Brown shutter Torchwood?

(Note to the humor-impaired: These are jokes and not meant to be a comment about President Obama, Prime Minister Brown or anyone else.)