One death per minute in Conan the Barbarian

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Kevin Coll
Dec 15, 2012
"I live, I love, I slay, and I am content." That's the creed this new Conan the Barbarian lives by, and, man, does he slay a lot. So, how much death occurs in this reboot? Moviefone has kept a running tally of deaths from the latest film, which stars Stargate Atlantis' Jason Momoa in the titular role, and the final tally is ... well, it's mighty impressive, even by barbarian standards.

The site admits that this tally probably isn't exact, but it has to get you excited nonetheless about the carnage in the film; carnage like pillaged villages, self-sacrifices, head smashing, sword battles and a bunch other clever and over-the-top ways to kill someone.

The movie, which is 112 minutes long, boasts around 113 deaths—by our math, that means there is literally one death a minute in the movie.That doesn't even count the implied deaths and ones caught in aerial footage post-battle. The remake's body count actually makes it 43 more deaths than the original 1982 Conan the Barbarian film which had 70.

Now, keep in mind these deaths and their descriptions should be consider minor SPOILERS for those who wish not to have any carnage told to them before seeing the film. Read on at your own risk.

Leading the death toll was 36 deaths of people living in a village that gets pillaged. Following that, 32 deaths were by the sword. Shockingly (we never thought we would say this), there were 5 deaths that occurred by people being turned to dirt. There are apparently 2 "Wolverine"-style hand-claw deaths, and 4 "forest sneak attack gone terribly wrong" deaths. Womb stabbing, impalement, death by lava river, self sacrifice, molten metal to face, human catapult death, gutting and beheading all happen in this film at least once. There are 11 deaths from a hijacking gone wrong, as well as 11 deaths by arrow in battle. Last, but not least, there were 4 serpent deaths, which, as any Conan fan knows, is a must for the franchise.

All in all, it seems that carnage abounds. The movie hits theaters today.

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