So Schwarzenegger's next film WON'T be The Terminator after all

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2012

You know those awesome rumors about Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn possibly reuniting for another Terminator movie? To our great disappointment, it's not happening. Arnold has signed a contract for a movie called Cry Macho.

According to Deadline,

This pic calls for some acting chops for Arnold as a horse breeder who won the Kentucky Derby but whose wife and child get killed. He sinks into an alcoholic depression and winds up working for a hedge fund jerk who offers him a choice of getting fired or bringing back the rich guy's son living with the ex-wife in Mexico. Unexpected plot twists ensue, including an Arnold-and-kid road trip back home.

Insert harsh language here. Although it'll be good to see Arnold return to the screen, we really, really wanted to see some Terminator action.

As Ain't It Cool News wrote, "[H]e's not exactly in COMMANDO shape anymore and this one doesn't seem so much like an action movie but more of a dramedy, which may be a safe bet for him. I'm just glad he's coming back to the screen."

A dramedy? That means at no point in Cry Macho will Arnold be wearing a loincloth and wielding a sword. His eyeballs won't be popping out of his head on Mars. He won't be rolling around in the mud in the Central American jungle.

And at no point will he be slinging a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range as he utters the catch phrase "I'll be back."

While normally we don't report on non-sci-fi movies, we thought we'd share our disappointment, because shared pain hurts less.

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