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A Series of Unfortunate Events Season 2 trailer oozes with villainous treachery and treacherous villains

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Feb 12, 2018, 2:00 PM EST

There are better things to do than watch the new trailer for the second season of Netflix's adaptation of the beloved Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. For instance, you could be devoured by flesh-eating leeches, breathe in the toxic spores of Medusoid Mycelium, or be shot in the chest with a harpoon gun. Anything would be preferable than laying your eyes on the tragic trainwreck that is the story of the Baudelaire Orphans.

But... if you insist: If you must know what happens in the next installment, if you are aware that you are sentencing yourself to an afternoon of tears, pain, and ice cream binging, then by all means, watch the first full trailer for Season 2 below. Just don't say we didn't warn you...

Compared to the teaser released on New Year's Day, this trailer is a veritable treasure trove of gangrenous goodies just waiting to be unpacked. It begins with Patrick Warburton's Snicket asking you to look away before Count Olaf (Neil Patrick Harris) takes control of the preview. "Ugh, this marketing is so Season 1," he remarks with a sneer. "Let's try this my way." He sets out to highlight that the show's sophomore season will be much worse than the first... way worse.

Villainous treachery, treacherous villains, fires, violence, angry villagers, man-eating lions, murders, despair, and the hilariously oxymoronic "unwanted elective surgeries" will pervade Season 2 like the tear-inducing fumes from a nearby horseradish factory.

The trailer also gives us our first looks at some of the new characters like Roger Bart's Nero, Nathan Fillion's Jacques Snicket, and Tony Hale's Jerome Squalor. Plus, there's a first glimpse of the Caligari Carnival from Book #9 where the orphans pretend to be a bunch of circus freaks in order to evade Olaf.

And any Unfortunate aficionado will know that the harpoon gun held by the Count at the trailer's end is used to dispatch a certain character at the end of Book #12. 

A Series of Unfortunate Events Season 2 arrives to ruin your day on March 30. It adapts the next five books in the series: The Austere Academy, The Ersatz Elevator, The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, and the Carniverous Carnival