We're officially on the other side of the first weekend since the release of Birds of Prey, an epic, colorful, glitter-infused explosion of girl power and badass teamwork that left many a FANGRRL with the nigh-insurmountable urge to step on something — preferably while wearing some brilliantly bright roller skates.
But as hard and fast as we fell for characters like Renee Montoya, Dinah Lance, Helena Bertinelli and Cassandra Cain — not to mention the return of chaotic princess Harley Quinn — we couldn't help noticing the lack of a distinct redheaded, be-caped presence.
Chances are, though, that our girl Barbara Gordon was too caught up in other business to help out the Birds of Prey this time around, so some of us on Team SYFY FANGRRLS decided to posit a few possible reasons for why she couldn't join in on the action this time around. (She does have her own solo movie to lead, anyway!)
Catching up on her reading
Before she was serving justice out on the streets, our girl Babsy was serving justice in a different way — by helping hold it down as a head librarian at the Gotham Library. You think your reading list is out of control? Babs is a librarian, a crime fighter, a detective, and a nerd. The stacks of books this woman has built up in her house have got to be out of control, so when she got the call from Harley and the girls to go beat up on yet another gang of hardened criminals, Barbara coughed and pretended to have a cold so she could get back to whittling down her reading list to a manageable size. So what's on BG's list? Our guess is that our true-crime-loving humanitarian would be reading No Visible Bruises by Rachel Snyder, The Five by Hallie Rubenhold, When the Dogs Don't Bark by Angela Gallop, Catch and Kill by Ronan Farrow, The Third Rainbow Girl by Emma Eisenburg, and Chase Darkness With Me by Billy Jensen, just to name a few! - Sara Century
Assisting Batwoman with finding a new wig
When Kate Kane needs to track down a new high-quality wig she calls up Babs. Don't get it twisted, though. Kate can secure her own lace-front no problem, but Babs just seems to know where to find the top-tier wigs for half the price and they're always available immediately. In fact, she was in the middle of trying to secure one of these top tier lace-fronts for Kate when the Birds of Prey came calling. The bat family can be a dysfunctional group but when it comes to helping one another get their gear in order that's a top priority. Our girl Babs understood how important it is for Kate to have a wig she knows is not only going to bond to her mask but is going to stay out when she's swinging from building to building. Robin, Nightwing, and Batman don't know a damn thing about the difference between synthetic or human hair either, making them utterly useless in these matters. - Stephanie Williams
Watching reruns of the '60s TV series
You know how it is, there is a whole list of new TV shows and movies to catch up on and yet you find yourself lingering on a channel playing old reruns of one of your favorite old shows. Sure, you've probably seen this episode multiple times, but there is comfort in the familiar. And what could be more enjoyable than watching the campy 1960s series in which she made her first on-screen appearance? The purple costume, yellow cape, and pointed mask look wouldn't pass the style test alongside the new Birds of Prey, but this TV classic is one for the ages and a reason to stay home. - Emma Fraser
Too busy trying to sort out the rumors of her own movie
Batgirl, make an appearance in Birds of Prey? Do you know what her Google alerts are like these days? The rumors and speculation about possible Batgirl movie adaptations are relentless. There was the Joss Whedon film and the rumors that Lindsay Lohan — yes, you read that right — was campaigning to star in. That version fell apart in 2018. Then, Roxane Gay had a Twitter-based general meeting to possibly write the thing. From there the rumors and speculation have one gone more rampant. Amongst the concepts were a Black Barbara Gordon/Batgirl, tying into the casting of Jeffrey Wright as James Gordon in Matt Reeves' The Batman. But then there’s the conflicting internet joygasm at the idea of Amy Pond and Nebula herself, Karen Gillan, being interested in directing and starring in a Batgirl movie.
We're exhausted just reading about all of the possible versions of a Batgirl movie, so just imagine how tired she must be having to field all those phone calls, go to all those meetings, meet with all those actresses, directors, screenwriters, and every nerdy online media writers who need to report on all of those speculations. She really needs her own Oracle to manage her schedule for her before she could even think of suiting up for Birds of Prey. We feel you, Babs. Hope you get a break soon. - Riley Silverman
Tricking out her Batcycle
Every hero needs a great ride and when you're a member of the Batfam, the bar is set HIGH. She may not be Batman, but Barbara isn't about to let her motorcycle get outshined by his shiny black phallic symbol. Two wheels have always been better than four, in her opinion. Especially when those two wheels are equipped to take on pretty much any terrain, and the rims can transform into all manner of onboard weaponry (spinning blades, projectiles, the usual). Plus, naturally, the bike is able to tag fleeing baddies with a remote tracker, can throw out a rope or two, is equipped with its own arsenal of projectiles (Batarangs and grappling hooks included), stealth mode (which has taken months to develop) and an onboard ORACLE AI. She even got a few more ideas from that time she and Misfit went to see Incredibles 2 together.
And yes, since you asked. She does have shark repellant. She learned her lesson after her last encounter with King Shark. - Tricia Ennis
Training for American Ninja Warrior
Look, normally she wouldn't bother, but if you know anything about Barbara Gordon you know that she is a girl of her word. She's also very competitive, which is why when Dick Grayson challenged her to take him on in the Gotham leg of this year's American Ninja Warrior competition, she couldn't turn it down. She's not gonna let that former circus clown beat her in a game of strength and agility just because his perfectly shaped butt can't get something down from a high shelf without turning the kitchen into an entire parkour course. Come to think of it, he still owes her a new blender. So she spends her free time in Batman's secret gym because there's nothing more motivating than spite and the fear of actual flying knives and spewing fire. Honestly, the guy has a problem. - Tricia Ennis
Making breakfast and morning margaritas for all
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and while the best egg sandwich is clearly bodega-bought, sometimes a homecooked option is what is needed. It might sound incredibly reductive for Babs to be stuck in the kitchen, but she's been mainlining Bon Appétit content and really wants to bring out her inner Claire Saffitz, so she definitely volunteered for this plum gig. Plus she makes the meanest Morning Margaritas (as well as a midnight option for when the squad is in the mood for a sleepover and a Practical Magic rewatch). - Emma Fraser