This week, director Ron Howard revealed the name of the previously-untitled-but-we-all-sort-of-knew-what-it-was-going-to-be-called-Han-Solo-project, and it’s Solo: A Star Wars Story.
All we really know about the movie is that it’s about younger iterations of Han, Chewie, and Lando, plus a few new (old?) faces thrown in for good measure. And it’s set an even longer time ago in a galaxy far, far away. But now that they’ve released a title, maybe it’s a clue. Maybe we can hazard a few guesses as to what Han et al. get up to in episode negative-I.
Solo: The Musical
Han is a part of the biggest boy band from Coruscant to the Outer Rims. But he’s done making music written by other people. He’s finished learning dance moves with four other boys he’s not even really sure he knows anymore. Kes Dameron, who was so chill, but now couldn’t stop muttering under his breath about the empire at every turn. Or TK-421, who used to be so anti-authority? Who scoffed in the face of every record executive out there? But now he was thinking about joining a friggin’ battalion? His old friend Lando, who had the moves, but not the drive. No. Han needed to be on his own. It was time for him to fulfill his chart-topping destiny. It was time for him to go Solo.
Solo: [Wookiee Sound]
He couldn’t believe it. She’d turned him down. Mallatobuck had chosen Han’s number one brother, Chewbaca, over him. He couldn’t believe he’d never hear those beautiful wookie sounds of I-Love-You-Han come from her furry maw ever again. … And he couldn’t even talk to Chewie about it. Chewie could never find out. He’d promised Mallatobuck that much as they’d said goodbye. Now, it was time for Han to figure out how to be alone. This was the journey he was meant to be on. Leaning into his namesake. Flyin’ solo.
Solo: A Remake of The Soloist, starring Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey, Jr. But in space. Written by someone who has never seen The Soloist.
Han Solo is a cellist. A cantina cellist. Lando Calrissian knows he can be so much more than that. He could be a Solo cellist. A Soloist.
Solo: Shattered Dreams of Getting Wasted
Han, Lando, and Chewie have been planning this party for weeks and it is finally. Happening. They’ve got everything, booze, food, tunes, porgs. Well, almost everything. Thirty minutes before the party starts, Chewie points out that they don’t have any solo cups! How do you have a party without the quintessential party-cup?! But he can do this, he can find the cups in 30 minutes, can’t he? That’s what he thought before he got stuck in a nerf, pickpocketed by a whiney-ass blonde kid, and almost murdered by a sociopathic tin can and his super-hot doctor friend. He just wants to party, man, what’s a Solo to do?
Solo: The Kessel Run is a Dance Move, Lando
Han can’t help that he has the best kriffing feet of any dancer this side of Naboo. His dance team, the Walkin Wobani Wookiees just had to recognize his pure, God-given talent and let him choreograph their final dance for the dance-your-Hutt-off competition. But when his choreography causes them to lose the competition, and the wookies kick him out of their league, how will he figure out who Han is when he’s solo?