Someone translated that kooky Klingon propaganda video

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2012, 4:09 PM EST

Two days ago we reported about a viral Klingon video that was creeping around the Web. Today it appears that the Klingons are on the move again. Though their ultimate objectives are uncertain, this new development makes clear some of their immediate intentions.

A new live-action video, posted by the same YouTube account user, "Tanastvar," shows a little girl watching the aforementioned viral video on TV while happily singing along as if she were watching Elmo on Sesame Street. At the end, the camera spins to reveal only the cameraman's goateed mouth. He growls an ominous, "It's working!"

But what exactly is this viral video trying to tell us?

The crew over at Trekmovie.com had fan Chris Lipscombe (a member of the Klingon Language Institute) do some translating for those of us who only took Klingon 101 in college and never learned more than "Where is the library?"

Although Chris goes back and forth with some of the grammar, below is what he calls a "liberal translation":

We are members of the Klingon Empire!

We have argued with many dozen planets

and we expand to many more every day

Do you want to influence the planet?

But how?

Let's go, we are coming, join us!

Contribute to the enjoyment of Klingon planets

The Empire is good for everyone

The Civilization brings wealth, competitions and good food.

Our Klingon "yeni cheri" are brave, many and fair.

Take spoils from the invasions, and many solders join the Empire

The Empire powerfully protects the important planet from the influence and possible decaying that the dictator (brings ... does something with ....)

Put down your small weapons

Open your hearts

and join the Klingon Empire.

Get ready but conquer

Get justice now!

But that's not all. TrekMovie community member Artun Ă–zsemerciyan connected the background music in the Klingon video as coming from a Turkish children's choir, specifically a song about birds. See the video below for the damning evidence.

It appears that the Klingons are trying to make human children sympathetic to the their cause. But to what end? Indoctrination? Perhaps to make future generations more easily manipulated?

Stay tuned, as we're positive this is not the last we've heard from them.