We really should have seen this coming. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is a Gringotts goldmine when it comes to selling Potter-related merchandise — as Gennaro from Jurassic Park might say upon seeing it, "We're gonna make a fortune with this place." He'd be right — not only are parents going to pay for their kids to go to the park, but every kid is going to have to get a wand, too. They can't bring one of their own, that would never do. They'd need one of the special wands that they sell exclusively in the park. So it should come as no real shock that Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge (the upcoming Star Wars equivalent theme park experience) might attempt something similar.
According to Walt Disney World News Today, Disney has filed a patent application for something that bears the name "Sword Device with Retractable, Internally Illuminated Blade." We don't know about you, but that sounds a lot like a lightsaber.
Of course, it would make perfect sense for Disney to sell lightsaber replicas in their special Star Wars park — they already do. The ones currently sold in Disney Parks are nothing like this, however — they extend just fine, but they don't light up. You also have to awkwardly push the blades back in with your hand, and who really wants to do that?
The new and improved toy, a more elegant toy for a more civilized age, will work something like a "motorized tape measure," according to WDWNT, who also show off drawings from the patent application. One press of a button will make the blade extend, with LED lighting inside. The blade will be able to retract in the same way that it extends, and the classic sound effects would of course be a part of the experience. We'll likely keep making them with our mouths, though.
The potential is huge, and even just thinking about this item makes us want it immediately. The only problem inherent here is that such a toy would probably not come very cheap, and even if you did manage to get your hands on one, banging it around on someone else's lightsaber might not be something you'd want to do.
We're sure you can imagine it, though — if the price is even somewhat reasonable, every kid there is going to want the special experience of choosing their own blade color, and possibly even a hilt design. (You want a curved Dooku handle with a yellow blade? Weird, but no problem.) Forget the kids, adults are gonna be champing at the bit for these too — not everybody who buys a wand in Diagon Alley is a kid, far from it.
WDWNT points out that at this point it is just a patent application and that nothing is set in stone yet. Even so, it's an exciting prospect, and it makes us even more restless to try and get to one of these parks ASAP when they eventually open. We've given so much thought to the rides and the hotels, etc., that some of us forgot all about merchandising. Merchandising, merchandising! Where the real money from the movie is made!
Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge will be coming to Disneyland in the spring of 2019, and then to Walt Disney World in the fall. Start saving your republic credits and stop betting on the pod races.