Stuff We Love: The elegant interstellar tomb of the Event Horizon

Contributed by
May 11, 2017, 8:22 PM EDT (Updated)

Looming out of the Neptunian mist like an interstellar spectre is the trans-dimensional exploratory FTL starship, the Event Horizon. Freshly returned from a little experimental jaunt into the mysterious abyss OF HELL, the Event Horizon is one seriously sexy space vehicle. She's oddly reminiscent of the Discovery, the iconic Jovian transport of astronauts Bowman and Poole in Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey but mated with a lethal Klingon Bird of Prey, exhibiting an elegant design that is at once familiar yet disturbingly strange at the same time.

Conjured from the concept artists and visual wizards of Paul W. S. Anderson's 1997 cult, sci-fi horror film of the same name, there is a slim margin of sanity left within its Hellraiser-ish, buttoned-up exterior. S L I M!!

Inside, the Event Horizon is nothing more than a cathedral-like tomb, as Lawrence Fishburne's Captain Miller forebodingly declares once their Lewis and Clark rescue vessel enters the same orbital territory as the lost derelict spaceship's and he steps aboard. Vanishing upon its secret mission to breach the outer and inner veils of a black hole beyond Proxima Centauri with its devilish "gravity drive," the Event Horizon is a floating corpse inhabited by the tormented ghosts and demons of its former hellbound crew.

Dr. Weir, the scientist who invented its diabolical engine, played by Sam Neill, is haunted by his own terrors and these forsaken nightmares come alive inside the twisted, haunted hull of the Event Horizon, infested with shocking images of its insane crew tearing themselves apart during cannibalistic orgies and impaled like unholy hors d'oeuvres upon grooved sacrificial spikes. What a party! I place this malevolent ship second only to the Alien Dreadnought on LV-426 in a list of starships gone bad.

Wait, no... it's #1. What was I thinking?! (Voices compelled me to alter my ranking)

Shuttered, corroded and drifting in its own noxious miasma of Hell-puncturing perfumes above the unfeeling blue of Neptune, the Event Horizon's gothic gloom is best to be avoided at all costs, with the price of your eternal soul the cost should you decide to climb aboard.

Are you willing to take a chance and enter its unwelcoming airlock?

To Hell and back! The gateway is open! RIP Event Horizon.

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