Wolverine parody

Stuff We Love: Hilarious video shows why Wolverine’s claws actually suck

Contributed by
Sep 21, 2017, 9:40 PM EDT

Wolverine may be one of the uncanniest X-Men, and even before Hugh Jackman took on his scowl, he was idolized for his ferocity that was only tempered by his own sense of honor. It’s no wonder people want to be more like him. But in this hilarious video, viewers see exactly why this isn’t a good idea.

In Wolverine's Claws Suck, YouTubers GREGandLOU pay a doctor to give themselves a mutant power, specifically, the power of Wolverine's claws. These two buddies are ready, willing, and able to give the doctor $50,000 each for such a gift. But there’s just one catch: “Wolverine” isn’t one power. It’s two: adamantium claws AND a mutant healing factor.

As a geeky person, I have to point out that retractable adamantium claws are, in fact, NOT a superpower. No, what puts Wolverine off the charts of the genetic bell curve is his mutant-based ability to heal. It’s because of this that he was able to survive the adamantium-grafting procedure.

Later in X-Men lore, Wolverine learns he has retractable bone claws. That's a mutant power, alright (although currently, he's back to adamantium).

The doctor gives GREGandLOU, also known as comedians Lou Perez and Gregory Burke, a choice, and they decide to acquire the claws rather than the healing. Bad. move.

One of the reasons I love this video is because... I really shouldn't. I always prefer word play to slapstick, highbrow to lowbrow comedy. However, this still makes me laugh hard.

But I know the one way it appeals to my rational nature: This is exactly what happens when you don’t consider the consequences of your actions.