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Stuff We Love: That’s no moon. It’s ThinkGeek’s Death Star phone charger

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Sep 3, 2019, 7:15 AM EDT (Updated)

For anyone who ever had an urge from the Dark Side to vaporize rush-hour traffic, you can now do that and charge your phone at the same time with ThinkGeek’s exclusive Death Star USB car charger.

All right, so this thing doesn’t fire laser beams at the monster SUV in front of you that moves at 0.2 mph or the guy who thinks he can cut through the highway with the top down and the music blasting (and his sunglasses on, because these types always seem to rock sunglasses). But if he turns off his radio for a second, Grand Moff Tarkin’s voice commanding You may fire when ready followed by the pew pew pew of a planet-destroying laser may give him other ideas.

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That's no moon.

Yes, I really just said the Grand Moff talks out of this thing and that it proceeds to convince you a superlaser apocalypse is happening from your cupholder as soon as you plug it into your car and again when you plug in your phone. The base is adjustable, so it can be reachable depending on where you park it. You can even set the sound to mute, low, or high, depending on what spacecraft you want to scare off as you scramble to make it to The Last Jedi before tickets are sold out. The detail is insane, down to the LEDs that flash an ominous green as it threatens to fire—but I swear all it really fires is energy to save your all-important smartphone or tablet from an unfortunate death. Whether it uses the darker half of the Force to do that is debatable.

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Weapons of mass destruction have never been so portable.

While using this weapon of mass destruction is pretty self-explanatory, since you only need to connect one end to your car’s outlet and the other to your phone and before heading off to either save the universe or blast some rebel starship to smithereens, ThinkGeek’s hilarious video (below) shows just how important it is that you have this in your vehicle at all times. Especially if you’re a stormtrooper.

ThinkGeek is the only galaxy where you can snag a Death Star for your car—it’s officially licensed Star Wars merch that was created exclusively for them. (My Death Star comes courtesy of ThinkGeek.)