Teddy bears not your thing? Stuffed unicorns just not magical enough? Tired of cute cuddly creatures and looking for something more… sickening?
Game over, man.
ThinkGeek and the Weyland-Yutani corporation are sending the second and third stages of xenomorph development to infest Earth in plush form. These unnaturally soft 1:1 replicas will never want to let you go, and once you’ve bonded with them, you won’t really care that they have ulterior motives for staying attached, like, you know, implanting a parasite into your chest or using your body cavity as an incubator.
This Facehugger will always be happy to see you. Don’t be surprised if you find this thing jumping up to meet its human victim (that would be you) before you even realize there is an alien life-form clinging to your face. At least this space arthropod is made of super-plush velour and has posable “legs” that won’t require surgical removal when you decide you’ve had enough intimacy with an extraterrestrial life form for one day. Warning: It might leave behind a token of its affection in your ribcage.
By the way, the video is just hilarious. It makes me want to be a fly on the wall in ThinkGeek’s offices.
If you’re experiencing symptoms like tightness and pain in your chest and possible heartburn, that may be because you absolutely need the Chestburster plush to explode into your life. 48 inches of alien protoplasm is going to love you so much that it will literally not be able to contain itself once it’s fully developed from feeding off your innards.
Like the Facehugger’s legs, this creature is also poseable, so you can do anything from standing it up in a really unexpected place to sticking it in your shirt to freak people out.
It’s also the ultimate prank for any unsuspecting astronaut whose birthday might be coming up soon.
These embryonic Xenomorphs are just dying to meet you, so rocket over to ThinkGeek.com and bring them back to your own spaceship.