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Credit: Marvel/HBO

Thanos is farming on Wakanda and the weakest Game of Thrones idea yet: The week's worst fan theories

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Dec 20, 2018

No matter what series they're into, fans tend to have two traits in common: They're extremely creative and not especially patient. Perhaps that's why there are so many fan theories, because fans can't help but try to predict what'll happen in Avengers: Endgame or explain away some obscure Game of Thrones mystery in the agonizing wait for the final season. Sometimes these theories are right on, but for every "R + L = J" there are hundreds of very, very bad fan theories.

That’s fine! It’s great that fans are being creative with their favorite series. What’s less great is when an entertainment news site decides to pluck one of these specious theories from the safety of a subreddit and present it to a general audience as a plausible theory in order to get your clicks. When that happens, it’s up to SYFY WIRE to debunk these crazy fan theories. We’re not digging into subreddits to find outlandish theories to dunk on, we’re just looking to see which news sites irresponsibly wanted to take you for a ride.

And, we’re happy/dismayed to report that things are back to normal after the worst aspects of the Fan Theory Industrial Complex took the week off. Bad theories are back, as if they never left.

thanos planet

Farmer Thanos is still in Wakanda at the end of Infinity War

This theory, which is making the rounds online, posits that Thanos never left Wakanda, and that he’s chillin’ and farming somewhere in T'Challa's kingdom. To be fair to the theorist, there are some intriguing bits of evidence. "Wakanda has the most beautiful sunsets in the world," we learn in Black Panther, and one of the plants we see Thanos brush his hand by in the Endgame trailer looks kinda like a horned melon, a fruit that grows in Africa.

But, to continue to be (brutally) fair to the theorist, there are also several definitively disprovable bits of evidence. Horned melons don't grow like that, to start with. Also, if you watch the last scene of Infinity War, there is clearly a looming moon or planet in the sky above Thanos' farm. It is way, way too big to be Earth's moon.

Finally, the Russo Brothers have explicitly said he's on a "new planet," and while it's possible they're lying to hide a spoiler, it doesn't seem like it. But it's weird that this theory is suspicious of the Russos but apparently puts a lot of faith in his "friend who was almost cast in Black Panther" who claims to have insider info placing Thanos on the planet. Bruh, it's 2018, we should all be beyond aggregating or falling for "my uncle works at Nintendo" claims.

Hela

Death, literally Death personified, will usurp Thanos as the big bad in Endgame (and maybe be Hela’s mom)

There's a leaked image of an Endgame toy that teases how Rocket Raccoon "teams up with a new crew to guard the galaxy from an even greater threat." What if, this aggregated theory posits, that greater threat is Death itself, who they suspect is Ragnarok villain Hela's mom.

The blurb on the back of the dubious leaked toy doesn't say "an even greater threat than Thanos," so we're already presuming a lot. Beyond that, though, it hardly makes sense from a narrative perspective to undercut Thanos' status as the big bad that a decade worth of films have been leading up to. It would both hurt his impact as a character and retroactively confuse Hela's story arc.

Also, in the original Infinity Gauntlet comic series on which the films are based, Thanos is doing all this evil because he is literally in love with death. The MCU did away with this outlandish aspect of the story, so is it really going to bring it back in Endgame and muddle things up?

Jaime Lannister

Jaime will kill the Night King using a reforged Scorpion

"Character X will kill the Night King" theories are a dime a dozen, and the idea that Jaime will be the one to do the deed is hardly new. But there's something so craven about this latest aggregation. It's a collection of tweets from fans blindly guessing or hoping that Jaime will be the Night Kingslayer without any narrative reasoning or evidence behind them. Heck, one of the tweets this article rounds up as a legit fan theory comes from a Twitter account that's a bot that churns out faux Game of Thrones fan theories. I'm not sure this is the bottom of the barrel when it comes to naked traffic-grabbing via fan theory regurgitation, but we're close.

And as for the Scorpion bit, one of the included tweets goes a little further than the rest. "Jaime will kill the Night King using the scorpion [and] Valyrian steel arrow which will be reforged from his sword by Gendry, but this time he will not kill the fire king, but kill the ice king," the theory explains.

That scorpion did, for sure, get destroyed, and the dude who built it, Qyburn, is extremely loyal to Cersei. Given that Jaime betrayed Cersei last season, it doesn't seem super-probable that Qyburn will build Jaime a new one.

Anyway, Hot Pie is going to kill the Night King, so I don't know why y'all are wasting your time.

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