Billy Loomis Scream

The 10 worst horror boyfriends

Contributed by
Oct 28, 2018

Within the wide scope of horror, there are plenty of good guys popping up in most of our favorite movies. They're the heroes who will come to the rescue at the eleventh hour when the serial killer or demon or zombie is about to deliver the killing blow. They're the boys who won't pressure their girlfriends into having sex before she's ready. They're the keepers.

And then there are the dudes who are far from being your horror honeys. Sure, some of them are pretty babely in their own right ('90s Skeet Ulrich, amirite?), but as far as actual boyfriends/husbands/partners go, they're actually kind of the worst.

Whether it's offering up their girlfriends to be impregnated by Satanic evil, targeted by killers-for-hired in animal masks, or just straight-up murdering their moms, these are the guys you absolutely do not want to take home to meet the parents.

Rosemary's Baby Guy and Rosemary

Guy (Rosemary's Baby)

Technically, Guy isn't a boyfriend so much as a husband, but come on. If giving your wife up to be impregnated by the actual Devil so that you can find success in your struggling acting career doesn't earn you a spot on this list then we don't know what will. And, to add insult to injury, Guy continues to berate, gaslight and otherwise verbally abuse Rosemary even after she gets pregnant, to say nothing of him gleefully declaring that he was the one who forced himself on her after she was unconscious. Although Rosemary ultimately winds up entering some fugue state after discovering her child is literally of Satan, it can be argued that Guy is a biiiiig part of how she got there. (And we bet he's not even that good of an actor.)

Friday the 13th Trent

Trent (Friday the 13th)

As a privileged white boy from a wealthy family, the cards were pretty much stacked against Trent already, but then he had to go and cheat on his girlfriend Jenna with her best friend while they were all under the same roof at his parents' summer home?! (We're also gonna subtract several points for his mid-thrust declaration that Bree's "tits were stupendous." Stupendous? This isn't the SATs, bro.) Our only criticism is that Trent's death scene wasn't more gratuitous considering his cheater-cheater ways, but it did end with him being viciously impaled on the back of a truck and bouncing down a narrow dirt road. So... narrative justice?

YOURE_NEXT_01281307_R

Crispian (You’re Next)

A teacher pursuing a relationship with his student? Sounds sketch, but there's nothing inherently illegal about it. A boyfriend hiring a bunch of killers-for-hire in animal masks to slaughter his entire family so that he and his brother can collect the inheritance? That's definitely illegal. Unfortunately, Crispian didn't count on his girlfriend Erin being a legit badass, having grown up on a survivalist compound and all, and once she makes quick work of the masked assailants he tries to cut her in. Naw, dude, we see right through your lies — and so does Erin, who stabs him in both the throat and the eye. Symbolism!

Halloween 4 Brady

Brady (Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers)

Bad horror boyfriends tend to have a habit of thinking with their lower brain, and such is the case with Halloween 4's Brady — who, after learning that he won't have the opportunity to get down with his lady Rachel on Halloween night, decides to turn to the sheriff's daughter Kelly for comfort instead. When Rachel and her foster sister Jamie literally stumble across Brady and Kelly en déshabillé while trick-or-treating, Brady's response at being caught cheating basically amounts to a shrug and a "bye, girl." It's only fitting that his head gets crushed by Michael Myers seeing as how he wasn't really using it anyway.

Rainn Wilson House of 1000 Corpses

Bill (House of 1000 Corpses)

We like Rainn Wilson. We don't like his character from House of 1000 Corpses very much, because Bill is the kind of guy who decides to pick up a random hitchhiker while out with friends and then flirts with her in front of his actual girlfriend, seemingly oblivious to her feelings on the subject. Anyway, he gets his comeuppance soon enough thanks to the savage Firefly family but the moral of the story here is that if you're already taken, don't hit on a girl you've just picked up because her fam might be a bunch of sadistic mofos who will proceed to torture and mutilate your entire friend group.

It Follows Jeff Redmond

Hugh/Jeff Redmond (It Follows)

Hugh (which isn't even his real name, so clearly we're off to a great start here) will go down in the annals of bad horror boyfriend history as the guy who literally gave his girlfriend an STD with a twist. Frankly, ladies get punished enough for having sex in horror movies as it is, but It Follows ramped it up a notch by adding a supernatural component, as Jay finds herself targeted for death by some evil entity after sleeping with "Hugh," who tells her she's inherited his problem now! He was just trying to find a girl to pass it on to! What a nice guy!

Jack Nicholson in The Shining

Jack Torrance (The Shining)

Jack is also technically a husband rather than a boyfriend, but he's also a slave to his work and less dedicated to his wife Wendy, who's just trying to make the most of this opportunity he signed their whole family up for. Spending the off-season in the abandoned Overlook Hotel seems like a good idea at first, until old spirits start awakening and Jack starts experiencing writer's block to the extreme, which culminates in him trying to literally axe-murder Wendy and their son Danny. No potential New York Times bestseller is worth this.

Tahmoh Penikett Trick R Treat

Henry (Trick ‘R Treat)

Henry, played by Canadian heartthrob Tahmoh Penikett, is also kind of not the greatest in spite of his chiseled looks and childlike Halloween spirit. His wife, Emma, is less enthused about the holiday, which makes her an easy target for the tiny, sinister Sam's plan to take revenge on behalf of Halloween traditions. While Emma is being murdered and subsequently dismembered in their front yard, Henry is up in the bedroom falling asleep while watching porn. It's not a capital offense, but come on, man, you couldn't have even given her a hand first before giving yourself a hand?

Assassination Nation Bill Skarsgard

Mark (Assassination Nation)

In case you're wondering if Assassination Nation counts as a horror film, just ask ANY WOMAN EVER. And while we've waxed poetic about how Bill Skarsgard could, frankly, get it (yes, even as "The Kid" in Hulu's Castle Rock), it's a testament to how good his acting is that he can convince us he's a total asshole who slut-shames his girlfriend (and frankly, gets a little scarier than that at one point) when the whole town of Salem gets hacked and all their private info shared for anyone to comb through. We're not going to go into specifics, but it gets pretty ugly.

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Billy Loomis (Scream)

Honestly, it doesn't get any worse than Billy Loomis. Not only did he straight-up murder his girlfriend Sidney's mom for participating in a totally consensual affair with his dad (it takes two to cheat, BILLY), he also put on the sad, puppy-dog, poor me eyes and thoroughly wheedled Sidney into losing her virginity to him — and then confessed everything he'd done to hurt her and her friends that same night! OK, normally we love a bad boy (especially one who looks like Skeet Ulrich), but as much as it pains us to do so, we can't excuse his actions no matter how soulful his expression.

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