In the year of our lord 2018, embracing our collective thirst seems like as good of a way as any to cope with *gestures to everything.* We all deserve a little escapism from time to time, and fantasy and science fiction is an excellent place to get lost for a while. With that comes many, many crushes, and while we would all like to exclaim “I love the character, not just how hot they are!” that would just be a lie.
When discussing babeliness in all of its forms, we would be remiss if we didn’t discuss the sartorial efforts that somehow make our baes, members of our OTPs, and objects of daydreams just a little bit dreamier. An outfit can make or break the mood, so let’s take a look at some of the reasons that we should all be bowing before costume designers’ feet.
(Spoiler alert: this list is completely free of golden bikinis and the like. Princess Leia will always and forever be the queen of our hearts, but Carrie Fisher hated that thing and so should you. Call us radicals, but consent and bodily autonomy are sexy.)
Dana Scully's giant blazers on The X-Files
There is a good chance that this look only works because it’s being worn by the ever-luminous Gillian Anderson. Fair! But hear me out: Scully is working the shoulder pads look. Sure, she may have often been delegated to the Straight Man and Skeptic position opposite Mulder’s Dreamer, but Scully’s no-nonsense wardrobe still set hearts aflutter. Make me your business, you professional babe.
Eric Northman's blue sweater on True Blood
For a man… er, vampire... known for wearing mostly leather and athleisure wear, the baddest bitch in Bon Temps really knows how to bring the Soft Boi aesthetic when he wants to. While it is probably a nightmare to get blood out of that cashmere, who the hell cares when he wears it so well? A lot of people are justifiably horny for younger bro Bill Skarsgård thanks to Castle Rock, but never forget that Alexander walked so Bill could run.
Claire Fraser's red gown on Outlander
I really should send the costume designer for Outlander an Edible Arrangement, because truly there is not a more beautifully dressed show on television right now. There have been many moments that took my breath away, and as much as I desperately miss the kilts and knitwear of Season 1, Claire’s French gown takes the cake. While she may look like a proper lady of the court, Claire will get elbow deep in a bloody wound and lecture you about feminism as soon as look at you, making her my dream woman.
Captain America's boxing sweatpants in The Avengers
While Marvel hasn’t done everything perfectly by any means, god bless their dedication to evening the score in terms of gender and objectification. They don’t throw in all of those shirtless Thor scenes for “the plot.” No, they know that their actors work hard for all those muscles, hence the decision to reintroduce Steve Rogers to the audience butt first, working out his frustrations on a soon-to-be-rubble punching bag. Clearly, the man has never skipped leg day, and those sweatpants won’t let us forget it (is butt day a thing? To the shock of no one, I don’t know much about the gym).
Wynonna Earp's leather jacket on Wynonna Earp
There are many, many reasons to love Wynonna: the sass, the surprisingly soft heart (at least where her family and friends are concerned), and the ability to drink you under the table and then go waste some revenants. However, the biggest reason she is crushworthy? She manages to make fringe look cool. FRINGE.
Aragorn's ranger cloak in The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings films were a sexual awakening for many millennial nerds, starting from the first moment we see Aragorn in all his Strider glory smoking in the corner of the Prancing Pony. Yes, Legolas was the sexually non-threatening blonde boyfriend of our pubescent dreams, but Aragorn was the promise of sex. A little scary, very enticing. While he was still a full-course meal after he showered and changed into a fancy velvet doublet, the aura of mystery that his cloak gave him was… something else entirely.
Zoe Washburne's leather sweater vest on Firefly
Sure, sure, Mal was Captain Tightpants, but it was clear that the frontrunner in terms of BDE was his second in command, Zoe Washburne. You know how I know? Because she is basically wearing the leather equivalent of a Chandler Bing sweater vest and she still is the hottest thing around. I know, you can’t really tell in that picture above, but there’s no denying it: that’s a very ‘90s vest. And it somehow still works.
Indiana Jones’ sweaty shirt remnants in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
The “Which Harrison Ford Is Better: Han Solo Or Indiana Jones?” debate has raged for decades, and while either one can take the lead in that poll on any given day, there’s no denying that Peak Ford occurs on the bridge in The Temple of Doom. The shirt may have been reduced to scraps, but I can work with that. It’s a far cry from Professor Jones, but I’ll take both.
Starbuck’s ever-present tank top on Battlestar Galactica
Seeing as they’re trying to survive during a pretty bleak space war, it’s safe to say that no one on Battlestar Galactica is particularly concerned with fashion. However, that doesn’t mean that Starbuck, my sci-fi queen, doesn’t make it work. You may scream at her for her hasty decisions (don’t marry someone else the day after the love of your life confesses their undying devotion, goddamn it), but no one should make a tank top look that good.
Jon Snow’s post-battle armor on Game of Thrones
I’m not particularly proud of this one. It took me a long time to get on the Jon Snow train, but Season 6 finally cemented him as a babe in my mind, helped in no small part by the Battle of the Bastards. We had seen the North’s bastard in full-on romantic hero mode more than once, but seeing him covered in the grime (and victory) of battle and finally facing down Ramsay Bolton after all the evil that he had done awoke something in the cavewoman part of my brain. DON’T JUDGE ME.
Amanita Caplan’s whole deal on Sense8
Listen, every single person on Sense8 is exceptionally beautiful, so this was a hard one to nail down. However, when considering the impact that fashion has on the dreaminess of the character, Amanita was really the only option. Not only is one half of Sense8’s greatest ship, Nomanita, brave, passionate, and very willing to roll with some trippy and dangerous sci-fi shenanigans, she always manages to look effortlessly cool.
Bellamy Blake’s henley shirt on The 100
Our thirst for the eldest Blake sibling is well documented, and the fact that he spent most of the last season bearded and wearing a henley is no small part of that lust. It is an indisputable fact that the henley is easily the most powerful object of clothing (feel FREE to @ me) thanks to its subtle exposure of two of the sexiest body parts: the collarbone and the forearm. While I should definitely just be focused on Bellamy’s mission to keep his friends alive, I am only a human woman.
Rose Tyler's Union Jack T-shirt on Doctor Who
While it’s fun to see how characters grow and develop as shows go on, it is also wonderful to see how the core of their psyche often remains the same. No matter how much she travels with the Doctor, Rose is still the delightful, scrappy girl from London at heart. The simple t-shirt is a powerful thing — if it’s good enough for Captain Jack, it’s good enough for me — and the Union Jack is a good reminder of Rose’s everygirl appeal.
Lando Calrissian’s capes In Star Wars
No one has more swag in the entire galaxy than Lando Calrissian, and one of the best things that Solo: A Star Wars Story did was introduce viewers to young Lando’s extensive wardrobe. Don’t think a cape is sexy? You. Would. Be. Wrong. Whether it is of the silk or fur variety, Lando manages to exude sexual energy where lesser mortals could never.
Valkyrie’s final battle armor in Thor: Ragnarok
It’s hard to pick the most crush-worthy character in Thor: Ragnarok because, let’s be honest: every single person is absolutely otherworldly. But seeing Valkyrie, once more assured of her value and her place among her people, striding down the Bifrost in her previously abandoned Asgardian armor was without a doubt the most thirst inducing moment in the entire film. Tessa Thompson in any form is totally swoon-worthy, but the strut and the functional yet fashionable armor will leave any mortal totally parched.
This is hardly an exhaustive list (I could have populated this list solely with amazing jackets), so please, embrace your thirstiness and share the moments that leave you bewitched, bothered, and bewildered in the comment section.