With the digital release of Avengers: Infinity War, we are finally able to revisit the most ambitious crossover of all time in the privacy of our own homes. That crossover? Our love of superheroes and our lust of superheroes. And this movie brought both in abundance. To celebrate, we giffed the 30 most thirst-inducing moments of the film.
Grab a couple bottles of water while you read. It's gonna get thirsty in here.
First and foremost, the god of thunder brought the pants thunder.
I mean, LOOK AT THOSE ARMS.
Drax was all of us.
I mean, he gets it. He gets it that Thor can get it.
And CAN YOU BLAME HIM? Holy arms, Batman.
Gamora certainly understands, to Peter's chagrin.
Not that they didn't get to enjoy their own thirsty moments (in which Drax was also all of us).
But in terms of proper canonical couples, Wanda and Vis were the ones bringing the heat.
Vis had us all a little red, tbh.
Meanwhile Natasha and Bruce only had one real moment, but it was hot enough to cut an infinity stone out of a weird gold glove.
Sam knows. Sam is uncomfortable.
Then there was that moment of hot Sherlock on Sherlock action. Look at this. You can actually hear Tumblr's heaving breaths.
Speaking of Tony, the one time I *got* the Thanos lust was when Thanos gave Tony a good beating and then served him some dramatic tea.
But an entire movie's worth of evil villainry is nothing compared to this one withering side-eye from Okoye, a look that launched a thousand thirsts. Look at me that way, please, it's all I've ever needed.
And her team-up with Black Widow and Scarlet Witch to take on Proxima Midnight? I believe "guh" is the word you're looking for.
GUH I SAID.
On the subject of badass ladies, Maria Hill got literally nothing to do in this movie but she invokes thirst by EXISTING so I must include her. Such is the power of Cobie "Her Name Doesn't Sound Like 'Smolders' For Nothin'" Smulders.
Bucky with the good hair using Rocket as a gun while spinning John Woo-style filled a very specific need for me and I am very grateful.
But let's pour some out for the film's greatest missed thirst opportunity. WHAT KIND OF BACK-PATTY BRO HUG IS THIS? Did you not want to embarass each other in front of T'Challa? Because he looks disappointed too. Everyone does. T'CHALLA WOULD BE COOL WITH YOUR BEAUTIFUL LOVE, BOYS.
And now this post becomes the Steve Rogers sexbeard appreciation zone you knew that it would be, starting with T'Challa hotly demanding hot Steve gets his hot shield. It's all hot and good.
To which Steve nodded, hotly.
I mean, that intro shot? Be still our beating everything.
I mean do you think he's sorry that you're thirsting so hard?
A truly thirst-inducing hero knows that war is no excuse for impoliteness.
And there's always time for a pleasant chat with an old friend.
But mostly it's a lot of sexy punching.
Much sexy. Very punching.
He's working so hard and that is for US. You're thirsty and you're welcome.
Sigh.
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