wayhaught

The biggest thirst traps of 2018

Contributed by
Dec 27, 2018

The weather outside is frightful. But in this post, the fire these individuals brought this year is so, so delightful.

You see, at SYFY FANGRRLS, our commitment to the thirst game is so powerful it practically makes a sucking sound. We don't mean that in a dirty way, at least we don't think. We're actually not sure how we mean it, but go with it. 

This year, which was a decade, delivered unto us a bounty of libido-stroking moments and tingles of a decidedly unchaste nature. From the eternally hot WayHaught to a certain surprisingly jacked ethics professor to not one, not two, but three Tessa Thompsons, these are the people and moments that activated our thirst protocols this year, and for that, we are so very grateful.

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jodie-doctor

The Thirteenth Doctor

I’ve been a Doctor Who fan for years. I’ve cosplayed, I’ve gone to conventions, I’ve written massively self indulgent articles about how deeply the show has spoken to me specifically in my journey. But there’s something new this year that many other Whovian fangirls have dealt with but for me is something wholly new: I have a crush on the Doctor.

With every adorable scrunch of her little nose I’ve fallen deeper and deeper into a wall of infatuation with her gorgeous stupid face. After years of playfully rolling my eyes at Doctor fans fantasizing about running their hands through David Tennant’s hair or adjusting Matt Smith’s bow-tie, suddenly I find myself scouring fanfic archives looking for the words “Thirteenth Doctor” and “slash,” and diving into YouTube videos making weaving Harlequin novels out of every stray glance in Yaz’s direction. The Doctor is my thirst trap and I’m just waiting for her to show up at my door, asking me to run away with her. - Riley Silverman

WayHaught heats up Christmas

We’re big fans of Wynonna Earp here at FANGRRLS, and while the entire ensemble of our favorite sh*tshow always has us lining up for water and whiskey at Shorty’s, we would be remiss if we didn’t single out the world’s greatest couple (and founding members of the Unkillable Gay Squad) Waverly Earp and Nicole Haught. These two are always #relationshipgoals, but in a season full of family reunions and a literal world-ending event, any opportunity they got to spend together was a blessing. The thirstiest moment, though? We’re gonna have to give that to Waverly taking a moment to heat up the holidays (and celebrate her girlfriend’s recent promotion) by donning a sexy costume and doing a little song-and-dance number. Is it hot in here, or is that the Santa hat? - Tricia Ennis

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Ambrose from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

This gorgeous witch’s favorite outfit is bare feet and a silk robe. Come on, how can you not be charmed? (Sorry, wrong show.) The poor dear is stuck in the house in punishment for a bit of a slip up in the magic department. I mean, sure, he tried to blow up the Vatican with Aleister Crowley, but it was a very long time ago. Despite that, he’s always willing to help out his cousin, and even stand up for her against her crazy Aunt Zelda. He’s adorable. Just maybe don’t look at the comic book version of Ambrose. Not quite so pretty. - Jenna Busch

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Venom. The parasite, not Tom Hardy.

Oh, you thought thirst traps were restricted to human males with chiseled bodies and facial hair? Pffft, please. It’s 2018. We’ve evolved as a species which is why I’m here to make a case for the hunky anti-hero who really isn’t getting the respect he deserves. That’s right, the beefcake I’m lusting after is Venom. To be clear, the parasite, not Tom Hardy. I mean, Tom Hardy can get it too, but Venom gets first dibs. Sure, he’s an alien organism that views humans as hosts to feed off and ultimately subjugate. Sure, his dietary habits are borderline disgusting and his table manners leave much to be desired. But y’all, that tongue. Did you see that tongue? I don’t want to get too graphic here, but I’d bet a life-form that hails from another planet has all kinds of weird ideas when it comes to using that tongue. But it’s not just Venom’s physical attributes — his buff bod, his flesh-shredding teeth — that are disturbingly attractive, it’s his whole vibe. The dude could give zero f*cks about the value of life, how precious humanity is, why it’s not acceptable to rip the heads of people who annoy you. No, Venom’s just out here, living his life and saying to hell with the consequences. That is a man err, thing that I can get down with. - Jessica Toomer

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Tessa Thompson as Detroit from Sorry to Bother You

Say what you will about the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope or the lack of development of her character, but Tessa Thompson as Detroit in Boots Riley’s Sorry to Bother You is one ridiculously attractive human being. Of course, we gush for Thompson in any role. (Can the new Men in Black International film hurry up and get here already?) The artistic, sensuous, empowered Detroit in particular, though, makes for quite the thirst-inducing hottie. She’s not just over the top gorgeous — she’s creative, funny, industrious, and all about doing her own thing, including creating anti-capitalist protests against the creation of equisapiens. As if that weren’t enough of a reason to adore this delightful powerhouse of a human, she makes her own super cute earrings that say lovely things like: Murder! Murder! Murder! Kill! Kill! Kill! - S.E. Fleenor

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Cole Sprouse as Jughead from Riverdale

Jughead is exactly the sort of person I would have gone for in high school. Broody, but fun; hot, but in an emo sort of way; a personal sense of style (as long as he washes that hat frequently, we’re good to go); and looks good in his Southside Serpents leather jacket. The real draw? He plays Gryphons and Gargoyles, Riverdale’s version of Dungeons & Dragons. Who cares if it’s going to kill us all? This guy commits to his characters! Is it wrong that I totally think his dad is hot as well? Yes, that’s wrong. I mean, he’s far more age-appropriate, but... wrong! Ahem. - Jenna Busch

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Michelle Gomez as Madam Satan from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

If we’re going to talk about Sabrina’s Ambrose, we’d be remiss to not show a little favor towards Michelle Gomez as the Mother of Demons. Seemingly dropping an inch from her neckline for every button she’d worn as Missy on Doctor Who, Gomez isn’t necessarily more unhinged in this performance, but what she used to focus into a manic shouting energy she now channels into a smoldering gaze and some fantastic lipstick choices. Though her exact motives were unclear until her final scene of the season, Gomez drew us in with her wicked teacher routine, and each arched eyebrow, each hushed word, and each time her accent occasionally dipped back into her native Scottish for a mere fleeting vowel sound. Dark Lord who? We’d much rather sign our name in Madam Satan’s book instead. - Riley Silverman

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Chris Pine as Steve Trevor in all his '80s splendor

Before June of this year if you had asked me to list “things that are attractive about a fanny pack,” I would have been hard-pressed to think of one. And then images from Wonder Woman 1984 were released. The circumstances of Steve Trevor’s return are still unclear — there are plenty of theories — but that confused expression on Chris Pine’s face match my own look of bewilderment because he made the much-maligned fanny pack into an object of lust. Gone are the swoon-worthy chunky knits and leather messenger bag from Trevor’s WWI mission, replaced by ‘80s appropriate tracksuit, Nike sneakers, and this new bag addition. In the year 2018, the fanny pack has made its return; adding to my dismay is that people are wearing them across their chest like a cross-body bag. I have questions and thoughts about this, but I am also pretty certain if Steve Trevor turned up in 2018 sporting one like this, he could somehow make it work. Fickle when it comes to lust-inducing fashion? Sure, especially when it comes to my personal pick in the never-ending “Best Chris” debate. - Emma Fraser

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Underpants!Peter Parker from Sony's Spider-Man

Look, the incredible team at Insomniac Games worked very long, hard hours to give us one of the most well-conceived Spider-Man stories, ever. How could I not appreciate the time they put into creating a Spider-Birthday-Suit in which for Spidey can swing around New York City? Designed as a prize for getting Peter through his whole main quest, the entire "suit" is just the Spider-Man mask and Peter Parker in a set of Spidey stamped undies. I'm halfway convinced they did it because they knew we'd need a pick-me-up after the killer ending of story-mode, to be honest. And boy did it ever pick me up. I'm fully convinced they just took Fernando Torres' butt and put it onto our favorite web-slinger, because that's basically all you're looking at when he's swingin' around anyway. Insomniac knew that, like Felicia Hardy, all we need is the mask — the rest of the suit can go. Bless Insomniac Games for Underpants!Pete and his abs and arms and his legs and his butt etc. - Preeti Chhibber

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Janelle Monae in Dirty Computer

The sci-fi queen R&B and psychedelic soul has long been blending cinematic ideas with her music. Check out her tuxedo days in The Archandroid and her status as The Electric Lady. But 2018's Dirty Computer may have been a peak for her, both musically and creatively. Her effortlessly cool blending of themes of sexuality, gender, technology, and identity — stuff she's always worked with — came to an incredible climax with this concept album and its accompanying short film (or what she calls an Emotion Picture). Monae's android had to break free from the homophobic and totalitarian society she found herself constrained by, and also Tessa Thompson was there. Of course, Monae looked fine as all hell throughout, whether she was flirting with herself in "Make Me Feel" or having Tessa Thompson between her labia pants in "PYNK." Sexy, empowered, committed to an aesthetic wholly unconcerned with male consumption, and ever so sharply dressed: We salute you, Electric Lady. - Kayleigh Donaldson

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Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger from Black Panther

Lusting over MCU villains isn't new. We went wild for Loki, swooned over Hela, and shipped The Winter Soldier with Captain America. But Michael B. Jordan brought Big Bad swagger to new heights in Black Panther. With Killmonger, Jordan gave us a complicated and compelling villain, who had the beguiling charisma and megawatt smile of a movie star and the steely resolve and smoldering scowl of a cold-blooded mass murderer. Jordan's performance electrified audiences, and — by our count — made him the best MCU villain the franchise had seen. And on top of this, Jordan inspired thirst so ferocious it demanded an emergency visit to a dentist. Seriously. When Jordan went shirtless, one fangrrl was so overwhelmed that she bit down hard enough to break her retainer! Her story went viral. And being the prince he is, Jordan offered to replace her broken hardware. - Kristy Puchko

AMBER HEARD as Mera in Warner Bros. Pictures Aquaman

Amber Heard as Mera from Aquaman

Mera has always been serious comic nerd crush material. While writers have oftentimes written her as anything from underdeveloped to unsympathetic, unstable, and even unnecessarily vindictive, there are some of us who see through the bad writing with starry-eyed romanticism, and that "some of us" just happens to be specifically me, myself. Already a babe as a fictional character, actual real-life babe Amber Heard as Mera is truly a sight to behold. Those eyes! That hair! That smile! That color palette! Over the last year, with increased prominence and better story arcs, Mera has gone from a what was already a hard swoon to a stone-cold faint. Meanwhile, in the comics, she finally got her own mini-series in which she fought the Ocean Master to a stand-still, confronted her dark past, and then moseyed right on back over to the main Aquaman series to become the literal queen of Atlantis. My liege! I’m pretty sure that my top-10 list of turn-ons is probably just the sentence “be the sole monarch of an underwater kingdom” written 10 times in a row. MERA! Anyway. I love her. I would die for her. - Sara Century

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Zazie Beetz as Domino from Deadpool 2

Domino is one of the many comic characters who seems to only recently be getting even a fraction of the hype she deserves, and much of that is due to Zazie Beetz’s portrayal of the character in Deadpool 2. Beetz was so good in the role that it led to increased prominence for the character in the comics world. OK, so now that you know who she is, here’s why I love her: She is beautiful and smart and awesome and cool, and, let’s face it, easily the best-dressed character in Deadpool 2. Style! Is! Important! Besides all that, Beetz’s Domino is efficient and deadly while remaining calm and collected, and even takes the time to give positive reinforcement to her friends. Who doesn’t swoon for an assassin with an upbeat attitude and the power of fortune behind her? Beetz’s impeccable style translated perfectly to Domino’s look, giving new twists to the iconic style of the character, thereby becoming the hired gun... of my heart. I can look at press shots of Domino from Deadpool 2 for about 12 seconds before I have to look away — it’s literally like looking into the sun. - Sara Century

Men In Black International

Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth in that MIB set photo

If you ever find yourself in a position where you need to explain what bisexuality is, just show whoever you’re talking to this photo. The very first image from the set of the upcoming Men In Black International, this photo is the very essence of bisexuality personified. Between queer icon, Tessa Thompson, Best Chris in our hearts, minds, bodies, souls, and nether regions, Chris Hemsworth, and two incredibly well-tailored suits, we are ready to go looking for some close encounters if it means these two secret agents showing up on our doorsteps for a different kind of close encounter. And God help our bisexual hearts when this movie hits theaters. Mulder and Scully who? - Tricia Ennis

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William Jackson Harper as Chidi from The Good Place

On our beloved The Good Place, a show with no shortage of attractive humans, Chidi has always been a low-key sexy nerd to Jason's high-key hot dummy. His anxious demeanor long hid a not-so-secret smolder and we were smitten from the start. But this season, he finally popped off that top and he went from soulmate crush to our eternal chili baby. Holy shirt(less), Eleanor was not kidding when she once referred to him as "surprisingly jacked." But that body — and dear god, what a body — is only one element of the full Chidi package. A perfect shell for his heart, mind, and a million indecisions in every ab and pectoral. We love him. Stomachaches and all. - Courtney Enlow

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