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The biggest thirst traps of 2019

Contributed by
Dec 19, 2019

This year had its ups and downs, its twists, turns, and big dumb zig-zags. But one thing is a certainty in this crazy mixed-up world: the writers and editors of SYFY FANGRRLS remain endlessly thirsty and proud of it.

From Dameron to Danvers, SYFY FANGRRLS is ending the year with a bang by celebrating the ones we totally would. Grab yourself a Gatorade, because this post is desperate for hydration.

May our faves of 2019 bless us with some quality quench, at last.

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Harley Quinn in Birds of Prey

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn

In the great stone ledger of ships, my one true pair, the ship that started it all for me, has been Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. But while this has indeed been my OTP since the days of Batman: The Animated Series, I will admit that I’ve always tended to fall more on the side of Poison Ivy as the target of my thirst in the relationship. But there was just something about the ‘fantabulous,’ newly independent of the Joker, big-screen version of Quinn cutting her hair, swinging her bat, and taking names while lip-synching to "Hymne à l'amour" and putting a crew of badass women to follow her that brought me over to her dark side in a hurry. Add to that the imagery in the film’s poster of Quinn altering her former Joker tattoos as a way of permanently marking her separation from him, and I now stan Harley Quinn harder than I ever have before. It feels appropriate to paraphrase one of Uma Thurman’s most iconic roles here, given that Thurman played Ivy in a film, but from the looks of this trailer, Harley roars, she rampages, and we shall get our satisfaction. - Riley Silverman

arya-gendry

Arya and Gendry hooking up on Game of Thrones

This was a scene that caused much consternation even though it is the rare Game of Thrones sexual encounter that gives the woman the power. Arya did what she had to do and in a season full of missteps, this is exactly the kind of consensual pre-battle activity to engage in. Gendry has always been a "Pony" by Ginuwine away from going full Magic Mike as he forges weapons, so it is hardly surprising Arya has always been drawn to him. She is a grown woman who wants to experience intimacy before certain death. Sure, we have watched this character and Maisie Williams grow up on-screen, which is why it was heartening to know that her behind-the-scenes experience of filming this scene was nothing like Emilia Clarke's early days on set. Not only did Arya get some from one of the hottest GoT dudes, but she also didn't compromise who she is to become his Lady. She also delivered the best power flex of the final season: had sex and then defeated the Night King. Jon Snow could never. - Emma Fraser

Charlie's Angels

The Charlie's Angels trailer

If you ever wanted a firm piece of evidence that not enough people listen to queer women, go read all the comments from folks who said they didn’t even know there was a new Charlie’s Angels movie coming out. While the rest of the world seemed completely oblivious to Elizabeth Banks’ reboot, the initial trailer was like a thirst bomb going off on Queer Lady Twitter. Lesbians, bis, and pans alike set aside our differences and basked in the glory of this shiny example of the LGBTQ+ female gaze. At the center of this maelstrom of thirst was Kristen Stewart, long a staple of parched sapphic throats, whose every choice of dialogue and movement in the film appeared driven by the desire to own it. It was as if she’d read the comment section of every article that shared her SNL Totino’s commercial sketch and thought “Oh what if I just did this for a whole movie?” And then she did. She kicked, flipped, and quipped her way into our hearts as if she didn’t already have the keys, and we lapped up every drop of it. - Riley Silverman

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Chris Evans and the sweater heard 'round the world

The fire emoji of 2019 costumes, the cream cable-knit sweater Chris Evans wears in Knives Out caused quite the commotion. When the trailer was released the reaction was immediate, but it hit fever pitch levels when the movie hit theaters. Of course, Chris Evans is a handsome dude, no matter what he wears (he is America's Ass, after all), but the power of a really good jumper cannot be denied. I would even argue this garment is hotter than a henley (aka the go-to thirst garment). His character Ransom has worn this sweater so much it is ragged and frayed, but that only adds to its alluring appeal. Sure, this character is a privileged asshole who is purposefully flouting his disrespect via his choice of hole-ridden clothes, however, all logical thoughts fly out the window when a creamy sweater is on the sartorial menu. - Emma Fraser

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Captain Marvel's motorcycle moment

When I think of people and moments from 2019 that caused me to thirst uncontrollably, I'm most thankful for the existence of the motorcycle scene in Captain Marvel. it combined three of my favorite things, Brie Larson, super powerful women in leather, women on motorcycles, and sh***y men getting put in their place.

The scene is set up perfectly, with this jerkbag dude driving up on his motorcycle, using patronizing language towards our protagonist, and even pushing her newspaper down out the way so he can try to force her attention onto himself. It encapsulates everything that prevents me from thirsting after men and sets Brie Larson up in the perfect position for my thirst, which is sprinting as fast as it can away from rude boy biker man. He even drops the "how about a smile?" line, urgh!

Carol then turns around, and without missing a beat effortlessly brings this man down to his knees by crushing his hand before confidently telling him that he's going to do everything she says, and smirking at her offer to simply release her handshake. Damn, that's some good power and control right there. Also, it's shot from below at points to make her look really tall and strong, and yeah I'm sold, I'm doing whatever she says.

As she rides off on that motorcycle, all I want to do is throw on a leather jacket and hop on the back with her, ready to be carried off into the sunset, away from horrible men. Gosh, I can't resist biker women in leather jackets. - Laura Kate Dale

Mysterio Far From Home

Jake Gyllenhaal as Mysterio

Look, I don't know what it says about me, but as into Spider-Man: Far From Home's Quentin Beck: Hero as I was, my thirst protocol was engaged post-twist by Quentin Beck: Smarmy Villain. She has a type, what can she say? But therein lies the genius in casting Jake Gyllenhaal. Impossibly handsome and built, a perfect hero type, but one with the ability to turn on a dime and immediately portray a very specific kind of geeky d***bag. He's very rarely sought out roles designed to leave us panting and unparchable (there is no undoing Prince of Persia, y'all) but he still does so whether he intends to or not (anyone else willing to admit he was still somehow hot in Nightcrawler? No? You're LIARS. Or I'm just GROSS. One of the two.) And as Beck/Mysterio, he certainly vanquished my Elementals, if you know what I mean (I don't know what that means).

I said it in 2018, I'll say it again as we close out 2019: if they need to recast the role of Mysterio's helmet, I have a suggestion. - Courtney Enlow

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Oscar Isaac's whole Rise of Skywalker deal

There's no denying that watching Indiana Jones at a young age created a Definitive Look in my mind for what made a man onscreen attractive to me. This was further cemented when I was introduced to Brendan Fraser as Rick O'Connell in The Mummy movies and Nathan Drake in the Uncharted games. So, I can appreciate when a man rocks a rugged, explorer look and a leather holster. The only thing that makes it better is when the entire outfit is topped off with a fancy scarf and just a hint of stubble. A look that Oscar Isaac pulls off flawlessly. That's why when The Rise of Skywalker trailer dropped, the only thing I cared about was seeing Poe in all of his adventurer glory. I don't know why he's dressed like he is, or why he needs short leather gloves. But it's not my place to question such a treasure. It's like Star Wars gave me an early Christmas gift by wrapping Poe up in a Nathan-Rick-Indiana package and adding a pretty bow. And let me tell you, it works. - Sarah Brown

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Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Dr. Manhattan

A most pleasing moment this year was finding out Sister Night was getting lithium-powered pulsations from Dr. Manhattan in the body of Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. The ninth episode of this year’s breakout series, Watchmen, was one of the thirstiest moments of the year and one of the greatest love stories ever told. Who better than Yahya to play a superhero who walks around butt-ass nekkid? No one. There is no one better. All of a sudden, the look of insatiable hunger from Agent Blake makes all the sense in the world. Same, girl, I get it. Most of all, Dr. Manhattan living amongst everyone as a Black man and keeping those features once he goes back to blue is so powerful. Power and thirst: our favorite combination. - Stephanie Williams

Kumail Nanjiani

Kumail Nanjiani gets buff for Eternals

Look, Kumail Nanjiani was always hot. That's just an objective fact right there. Of course, we had a thing for a hot funny dude with dark hair, piercing eyes, and the best set of eyebrows in the business. His smirk is the sort of smile that makes you wonder just how many dirty thoughts he has a day and whether we can ever be privy to them. Now, however, Kumail is getting physical for his upcoming role in Marvel's Eternals, and as we all know, the MCU contractually obligates its heroes to say goodbye to carbs in favor of crunches. Kumail committed and showed off the fruits of his labor on Instagram, and I'm not about to deny that he was totally doing it for me. You could shelter under those pecs in a rainstorm. All that and he kept his chest hair? We salute you, sir. But seriously, you were always hot and the world better recognize that. - Kayleigh Donaldson

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