The DILFiest dads in genre

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Jun 16, 2018, 2:01 PM EDT

Ah, Father's Day. The day we celebrate the dads in our lives and thank them for everything they've done and given us over the years. For many of us, our dads mean the absolute world to us and we cherish this time to make sure they know that.

We also cherish the ability to make it super weird and celebrate the hot genre dads we'd like to frak. You know, DILFs.

Genre film and television is replete with dads we'd like to claim as our own, be it as our very own father figure or in the biblical sense, if you catch our drift. Our sex drift. What we're saying is we're hot for their dadbods.

Call up your own dad and tell him you love him, then enjoy this list of genre dads we want to get Father's Day freaky with. 


Jim Hopper (Stranger Things)

Call me old-fashioned, but there's just something about a man who's great with kids. And also good at killing monsters, and super into Winona Ryder, and who always keeps the freezer stocked with toaster waffles. I'm a simple woman, not asking for much. Jim Hopper is the total package, complete with some seriously dad-ly moves.

While we've adored his strength and bravery for two seasons, it was his second-season shift from still-grieving father of his late daughter Sarah into father figure and eventual adoptive father of Eleven that took our Hopper love over the top. Their relationship gave us some of the best scenes of the entire series, as the two work through their mutual traumas while also keeping Eleven safe and hidden, in addition to navigating a pretty typical —despite truly extraordinary circumstances — life as a single father and a daughter in her early teens. As a dad figure, Hopper tries and sometimes fails, disappointing this young girl who needs him, and it's real and relatable. Through it all, the two care deeply for one another and become a family. Dad or daddy? Why not both? - Courtney Enlow


Ned Stark (Game of Thrones)

Ned Stark may have come to a bad end, but while he was with us, he was a super dad, a good friend, and an honorable man. Even if you never read the books, you had to know he wasn’t long for this world. I mean, he was played by Sean Bean, and if he’s cast in a role, you know he’s going to kick the bucket pretty quickly.

The Lord of Winterfell fell (sorry) trying to do the right thing, exposing the incest of Cersei and Jamie Lannister. Look, we all know that Jamie is a good guy now, but their kids weren't exactly suited for the throne. Ned is a good guy, and honor is pretty damn sexy. He managed to keep his sister’s secret from everyone (I won’t spoil it for you, but it’s a doozy) for most of his life. If this guy promises to bring home Baked Lays and onion dip from the store on the way home, he’s not going to forget and make some stupid excuse about running out of gas and using his last $5 to get more. You are eating chips and dip, my friend.

Even cooler than that, Ned is going to support his daughter, no matter what. He sees Arya’s love of weaponry. Sure, the world doesn’t understand a woman who wants to fight, but Papa Eddard does. He doesn’t barge into Arya’s room. He asks. He appreciates the name she gives her sword. He tells her the truth of the world. He lets her have Needle and sets up lessons for her. A man who recognizes the power of a woman, no matter how young? There is nothing more attractive than that. - Jenna Busch


Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet)

Timothy Olyphant has played a lot of very cool brooding guys. He looks great in a cowboy hat. But it is his performance as high-strung Joel Hammond on Santa Clarita Diet that ticks so many DILF boxes. He’s got the silver fox Cali suburban dad look down; his closet consists of a rotation of jeans, shorts, hoodies, henleys, flip-flops, and Dad-plaid. He has every casual staple piece a guy could need. Plus he wears reading glasses. Ultimate swoon levels and reading the Sunday paper in bed fantasy achievement unlocked.

When his wife Sheila (Drew Barrymore) dies and comes back to life as a zombie, he doesn’t flee. Instead, he’ll pretty much do anything to protect his family from external forces that threaten to destroy them. Control is something he lacks, both over the escalating zombie-related shenanigans the Hammond’s find themselves in and with 16-year-old daughter Abby. There is no parental moral high ground when the body of their neighbor is being kept on ice in the master bathroom.

As things spin even further out of control, Joel’s frazzled exasperation grows. This happens to be a surprisingly delightful quality. It is pure screwball high-energy. He isn’t particularly adept at this life of crime; they have been airing on the side of incompetence ever since the first body they had to dispose of. But Joel has a lot going in the dad and husband department. He is willing to concede when he is wrong in a marital or parental discussion including the time he found out that saying ‘but’ in an apology negates everything that comes before it. There is also the matter of being there for his wife in the bedroom; this is a dude that is very giving. Joel is very much a keeper. - Emma Fraser


Hoban Washburne (Firefly)

Wash might not have been a dad until after his death (I’m not over it any more than you are), but he would have been fantastic at it. Can you imagine Wash as a dad to Emma? (She appears in the comics, in case you’re confused.) If anyone is going to support a little girl in whatever she wants to do, it's Wash.

Wash is a blast to be around. He’s not going to give you crap about the insane number of toys you happen to have around your desk (just me?) because he has his own. He’s a goofball, and there is no better foreplay than laughter.

Wash appreciates a strong woman. I mean, he’s married to Zoe, his “warrior woman,” who, as he says, can kill him with her pinky. Even better than just supporting her, he’s proud of the fact that she’s so strong. What is hotter than that? He’s also loyal. When Saffron, companion training and all, tries to seduce him, he refuses, something the other Serenity crew members couldn’t quite manage. He’s chill, he’s faithful and he’s freaking adorable. Heck, he spent his time in a POW camp (according to actor Alan Tudyk) entertaining the other prisoners with shadow puppets. A man who can find it within himself to do that is someone who isn’t ever going to sit on the couch and stare at the TV when you want to talk about geek stuff. Wash is going to go out of his way to keep you laughing and smiling. Plus, he got rid of that stupid mustache.

“I am a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar.” Sniff. - Jenna Busch


Gomez Addams (Addams Family Values)

Raul Julia brought this morbid family man to life in a pair of totally bonkers live-action movies. And he did it with a sultry swagger and fiery passion. Whether expressing pride in his "lady-killer" son Pugsley ("Acquitted!") or tearing up the dance floor with his slinky sex-bomb of a wife, Morticia, Gomez is endlessly, electrifyingly excited. And it's easy to imagine his passion carrying over into the bedroom, considering how it spills all over in public displays of affection, kissing, canoodling, and cries of "Cara mia!"

On top of all that, Gomez is a man with a passion for fashion. His go-to is a bespoke pinstripe suit with a dapper bowtie that accents his pencil-thin mustache and bold, expressive eyebrows. But his is the kind of old-school glamour that demands not only elegant cravats, vibrant waistcoats, a jaunty conductor's cap, and an ornate smoking jacket, but also a matching tie the color of toppled pinot noir. After all, Gomez might be a madman, but he is ever a gentleman. - Kristy Puchko


Hawkeye (The Avengers)

Clint Barton is the DILF-est dude in Avengers Tower. Sure, he misses pretty much every family vacation in order to save the world and he won’t stop renovating the house, but he will build you your very own crafting room. Your neighbors may or may not know your real name, as it’s unclear how secret his identity, and by extension yours, really is, and they may think you’re married to a long-haul trucker who has more or less abandoned you and your three kids, but you know your man is an Avenger. You get to enjoy all the benefits and perks of being married to an Avenger, including access to the second richest person on the planet—and the first richest if T’Challa ever learns Clint’s name—random drop-ins from Thor and Captain America, and Black Widow on your babysitter speed-dial. Plus, as the least ego-driven member of the team, city-destroying disagreements will never be his fault. He might still get arrested for illegal superhero-ing, though, and then you have to explain to your neighbors why your husband is on trial for war crimes. But hey, those biceps! - Sarah Marrs


Harrison Ford in general

Everyone has a crush on Harrison Ford. If you claim you don't have a crush on Harrison Ford, you're a liar. The man who brought us two of pop culture's ultimate scruffy rogues has left an indelible impact on our hearts. As Indiana Jones and Han Solo, Ford managed to redefine the adventuring leading man trope while retaining its classical allure. He was dashing, mischievous, and way too dorky for his own good. Both Indy and Han are hugely defined by their nerdy appeal. Han is far too goofy and spontaneous to be truly cool, and Dr. Jones is a dedicated academic who owns at least one bow tie. All these qualities were distilled into their perfect DILF-y essence once both Star Wars and Indiana Jones were rebooted for a new age. Ford got older and gloriously cranky, and who doesn't love that kind of pop culture dad? Ford as latter-era Han deserves particular focus. Imagine living the life of a free-wheeling smuggler, giving it up for the bliss of domesticity, then seeing it all crumble, leaving you too ashamed to stick around and pick up the pieces. When Han comes back and fights for his son, the typhoon force of watching a dad try to do the right thing for once in his life was overwhelming, making the tragic consequences all too painful. So, Godspeed, Han and Indy, the epitome of Harrison Ford DILF special. Long may you be roguish and cranky. - Kayleigh Donaldson

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