The Monster Mash gets decked out in this bizarre yuletide version

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Apr 12, 2019, 5:04 PM EDT (Updated)

Horror fans from every cave and lair—and anyone who crawls out on Halloween—have heard "The Monster Mash" at least 87 million times. What you had no idea existed until now was the Christmas version.  

That ghoulish voice and bone-rattling chorus that take over the radio each year belong to Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers, who experienced such an unearthly success with their Halloween hit in 1962 that they just had to follow it up with the next holiday. So they decked the proverbial halls of the haunted house with werewolf fangs and vampire wings and came out with what could be the most bizarre holiday anthem ever, "Monsters’ Holiday."

Apparently there are naughty monsters and nice monsters. The ones who want to make the nice list should be waiting to hear sleigh bells (instead of unseen things moaning and groaning), but those on the naughty list just want to rob Santa’s sleigh of things unlikely to even be there in the first place. Do the elves in the North Pole really make back braces like the one Igor is so desperate for? Would Wolfman really find his electric shaver buried under dolls and toy cars and board games and BB guns and everything else a human child would expect under the tree?

Strange as this song is, it’s even stranger that Santa doesn’t take to the sky screaming but magically manages to produce a new cloak for Dracula, a back brace for Igor, and the coveted electric shaver for the lycanthrope. At least none of the reindeer get eaten.

"Monster Mash" madness didn’t end at the holidays. Pickett tried to make it a year-round thing with "Monster Swim" (which Pickett is performing on American Bandstand with a Cthulhoid backup dancer in the photo above), "Werewolf Watusi," and even—perhaps most disturbing of all—the unapologetically '80s "Monster Rap."

At least Wolfman can finally shave.

(via Paleofuture)