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The Week in Geek: Game of Thrones ends, Picard drinks wine, and DeVito grows claws

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May 24, 2019

You've made it to the end of another week. Now it's Memorial Day weekend. Maybe you'll go to the beach. Maybe you'll buy a new refrigerator. Maybe you'll go to the beach and win a brand new refrigerator playing skee ball on the boardwalk! Who knows?

But before you kick off the season of barbecue and beer, let's get caught up on the week that was. Here they are: The five biggest stories from... The Week in Geek!

THAT'S A RAP ON GAME OF THRONES

That headline is a pun, you see, because there's a video rapping about Game of Thrones listed above, but also the show is over. Yup. Eight seasons, 71 episodes, and, like, a billionty and a half deaths. That's the official number of deaths.

The finale featured a close to so many stories. Dany lost it all post-burning King's Landing to the ground. Emilia Clarke apparently studied multiple fascists before filming the finale.

There's been plenty of controversies, of course. Did you know there's a bottle of water in one shot? Gasp! Ser Brienne wrote about Jaime Lannister in that ledger of knights. A lot of people thought she should have written about herself. Also, some folks are not thrilled with the title of the guy on the Iron Throne, Bran the Broken. Some folks are calling that ableist.

But, look, listen, here's what we all know: Jon Snow pets Ghost because that's a good doggo. In the end, that's all that matters. Also, a lot of people watched that finale. 13.6 million people. Live. That number balloons to 19.3 million once you account for streaming. So, we may not get an Arya Stark series, but there's basically no way there won't be Westeros spin-offs.

Also, George R.R. Martin is putting out the next A Song of Ice & Fire novel in 2020? Maybe?

devito wolverine

Credit: Ring Arius

THE NEXT WOLVERINE SHOULD BE *CHECKS NOTES* DANNY DEVITO

Danny DeVito must have a weird life, right? Tim Burton keeps putting him in top hats, he's Arnold Schwarzenegger's twin (look it up, that's science), and, of course, people love fancasting him in things.

We already heard about how people wanted DeVito for Pokémon Detective Pikachu. And, in point of fact, there are even designs for that character with DeVito in mind as created by one of the concept artists behind the latest Pokémon movie.

And Pikachu isn't the only short-of-stature icon people want DeVito playing. With the X-Men soon to be a part of Disney's MCU, there's a fan campaign up on change.org by Rin Arius for DeVito to play, you guessed it, Wolverine. So far the petition has over 27,000 signatures.

Look, I'm not saying DeVito has any real shot of playing a live-action Logan (never rule out an animated version), but I am saying that the thirst for a comic-accurate short Wolverine is one that I respect. As a teeny tiny gentleman myself, Hugh Jackman, for all his talents, has always felt like an interloper. Wolverine is a role for us miniscule men! Come on!

And while DeVito almost certainly won't play Wolverine, let's all agree he should use this fan petition as a platform to get cast in the inevitable Alpha Flight as that other short, hairy, Canadian superhero: Puck. Thank you. I'll be here all night. Try the veal. Tip your server.

WHY DID PICARD LEAVE STARFLEET?

In the pantheon of Star Trek questions, there are a few biggies. What does God need with a starship? Why does Data know the terms "pussyfoot" and "gumshoe" but not the term "snoop?" There was that time Khan wondered aloud, "Admiral Kirk?" There was also that time I wondered aloud, "Admiral Janeway?" And now we can question one other admiral: Jean-Luc Picard.

Yes, the teasiest of teaser trailers for the new Star Trek series, Picard, dropped this week. It features a vineyard, some wine from said vineyard, oblique voiceover references to a rescue and a tragedy — oh, and Sir Patrick Stewart is also there. No big deal.

The vineyard is a big shout out to the Star Trek: The Next Generation series finale, "All Good Things." Although, in that episode, Picard wound up being a retired ambassador, not an admiral. Also, in that story, Picard has a degenerative disease called Irumodic Syndrome. We're assuming that is not the case in this new timeline, but who knows!

What matters is that Picard is back, there's some very suggestive flute music that gets played, and a tagline stating, "The end is only the beginning," which suggests time travel shenanigans. So who knows what might happen! Maybe, like with "All Good Things" we'll see multiple timelines, multiple TNG cast members, and potentially even an omnipotent being with a letter for a name.

THE NEW TERMINATOR TRAILER THAT BECAME A REDDIT AMA

You would be forgiven if you saw the first trailer for Terminator: Dark Fate and just assumed that was the whole story. You got your Linda Hamilton. You got your fancy new human Terminator. Old Arnie. What else is there to know?

I'll tell you what: Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to roll into the Reddit thread for the new trailer with some revelations that were decidedly not about the trailer at all.

For example: Did you hear that Arnie got drop-kicked recently while he was in South Africa by a random dude? It's true. No one knows why aside from the guy's insistence that he wants a Lamborghini. Naturally, someone in the Reddit thread asked about this, to which Schwarzenegger responded, "I didn’t press charges and hope he gets his life on track. That’s no way to get a Lamborghini." Can't argue with that.

Also, apparently, someone else thought it would be slick to complain about female reboots or whatever. Arnie wasn't interested in that, commenting, "You know that Linda Hamilton is a leading woman in both Terminator 1 and 2, correct?"

But, best of all, someone asked about Commando. Yes, the 1985 movie in which Schwarzenegger's character comes out of retirement to save his daughter because, I dunno, Special Forces yada yada. So the question was, did Arnie know how ridiculous Commando was when he was making it? And, apparently, it almost was even more ridiculous. According to Schwarzenegger: "As soon as I carried a thousand pound log with one arm I knew it was funny. But let me share the scenes you didn’t see that I tried to get in."

He continued: "I wanted to cut off a guy’s arm and kill him with it. This wasn’t in the script. He would throw a knife at me and after he missed, while his arm was still extended, I chop it off at the shoulder with a machete and beat him to death with it. Needless to say, I was asked by the head of the studio, Larry Gordon, to come to his office. And he said 'what the f*** is the matter with you? Do you want to make money with this movie or an X-rated movie?

"I said 'you’re right' and he said 'get the f*** out of my office.'"

Truly, Arnold Schwarzenegger remains the action hero we deserve.

ALADDIN SANE OR NAH

We started on a rap joke so we may as well end on one. This week, Disney releases its latest live-action reboot, Aladdin. There's been a lot of talk about how necessary or viable these live-action versions of animated Disney classics are. People have had thoughts about the costumes, about the hair, about whether or not Will Smith can carry the role of the Genie made famous by the late, great Robin Williams.

And now people can answer all of those questions for themselves. But let me say this: Aladdin, for me, was a lot better than I had anticipated. And that is in no small part due to Will Smith's ability to play the wildly unpredictable Genie. So if you're assuming the level of energy he's brought to the role based on the clips that have made their way to social media? You're not seeing the full picture. I'll say that. And he does dress up like a lady at one point in a scene I'll be referring to as "Wild Wild West 2.0."

Also, Naomi Scott's Jasmine is pretty darn great. There's just enough nuance in this new take on the Disney princess to maybe even justify the entire enterprise alone.

Also, Will Smith raps "Friend Like Me" and the movie closes on a version involving DJ Khaled. Yes, really. Worth the price of admission alone.

And that's it. Your Week in Geek is ended. Go in peace. Eat a hot dog, try not to bet burned at the beach. Buy a refrigerator? I dunno. See ya next week!

The views and opinions expressed in this article are the authors', and do not necessarily reflect those of SYFY WIRE, SYFY, or NBC Universal.

 

 

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