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The weirdest and coolest Pokémon stuff that I found on eBay​​​​​​

Contributed by
Nov 16, 2018

Every aspiring Pokémon Master aims to one day “catch ‘em all,” but if the amount of Pokémon merch available on eBay is any indicator, truly accomplishing such an impressive feat might just be impossible. It’s not just that some other trainer can outbid you at the last moment, thwarting your quest. No, it’s just that there is, dare I say, too much Pokémon stuff.

And, just like Pokémon range in quality from the lowly Magikarp to the uber-powerful Mewtwo, so too does the quality eBay’s Pokémon mech. Inspired by SYFY WIRE’s deep-dives into eBay weirdest and coolest Super Mario and Godzilla items, I tried to fill my Pokédex with eBay oddest Pokemon offerings. Here’s what I came up with, starting with the actually kind of cool finds and ending with some truly cursed images that had me feeling like Psyduck.

pokemon ebay

This decal sticker of the surprised Pikachu meme

There's so going on in the world these days that sometimes the only way to handle the constant deluge of news is to just stare in surprise, somewhat dully slack-jawed, into nothingness. That's why this Pikachu meme has caught on, and that's why I'd be proud to put this image, which I identify with so much, on the back of my car. Buy it now for $2.00.

pokemon ebay

This T-shirt with a Dabbing Pikachu on it

This is the counterpart to Surprised Pikachu. This is a confident Pikachu who dabs. We'd all like to think that we're Cool Dabbing Pikachu, but we're actually Surprised Pikachu. At least you can wear this aspirational T-shirt, assuming you have enough for the $15.55 starting bid on hand and can fit into a youth-sized shirt.

pokemon ebay

This Pikachu golf bag

This is a great way to get kicked out of a country club or ruin an important business meeting disguised as a round of golf. And while I do not belong to a country club, take such meetings, or even really know how to play golf, I must have this. It’s $444.60, because golf is a game for the rich.

pokemon ebay

This Pokémon knife

A fun, "super effective" way to create an IRL Ghost-type. $99.99.

pokemon ebay

This Pokéball security alarm

With the exception of Meowth (and, like, that weird Slowking from the second movie), Pokémon can only say their own name, but this little keychain attachment lets out an 85-decibel screech. So, if Team Rocket comes, you can let everybody know you’re in trouble. Security is worth $31.45, right?

pokemon ebay

This T-shirt where Pikachu is Naruto

This is bogus. Naruto has an affinity for wind chakra nature transformations, not lightning. Pikachu should be Sasuke, who has both lightning and fire chakra. No true Naruto fan would spend $4.99 on this insult.

pokemon ebay

This inflatable Mewtwo (with a color defect on face)

Bidding starts at $325 for this pool toy. Seems a little high for a pool toy, but probably a great price if you're a huge pervert.

pokemon ebay

This custom-made, steampunk Pikachu bong

Pikachu is not Fire-type, but you know he likes to blaze it. Also, this Pikachu is steampunk, for some reason. It could be yours for only $100.

pokemon ebay

This Juggalo Pokémon charm

There are no additional details provided for this listing of the Pokémon anime protagonist Ash Ketchum as some sort of angry Juggalo, but it's doubtful that any additional amount of text could've answered all my questions. This'll cost you $14, but the seller also offers a Rick and Morty Juggalo necklace, except it calls Rick "Portal Man."

pokemon ebay

This somewhat realistic Pikachu baby cake-topper

I hate this. $5.99.

pokemon ebay

This Pokéball-themed penis sock

If you're capable of learning the move "Harden," then maybe this horrible "Willy Warmer Cock Sock Peter Heater" will be of interest to you. Only costs $34 Canadian dollars and your dignity.

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