There’s a whole lotta evil in the world, but right now, the Vatican is mainly concerned about one very important thing, and that’s … sexy vampires.
Professor Giuseppe Ferrari, who happens to be head of The Group on Research and Socio-Religious Information -- a group on the lookout for everything and anything that has to do with the supernatural (where are the Winchester brothers when you need them?) and has the backing of the Vatican and Pope Francis (who's apparently insisted that dioceses have at least one trained exorcist on campus to deal with urgent cases of possession -- like, for real) -- said this at a conference in Rome last week:
"There are those who try to turn people into vampires and make them drink other people’s blood, or encourage them to have special sexual relations to obtain special powers. These groups are attracted by the so-called beautiful young vampires that we’ve seen so much of in recent years."
Right. So make of that what you will, but that’s a bit far out for my taste. But that’s not all. Father Cesare Truqui, a Swiss exorcist and protege of Father Gabriele Amorth, who also spoke at the conference and is also the guy who’s been the Vatican’s chief exorcist for years now, recently told a newspaper:
"It’s like training to be a journalist without knowing how to do an interview."
Now, I don’t go to the Vatican every day (much less every year, or even every decade), and I don’t particularly follow that kind of news, but it appears that Pope Francis mentions the Devil on a regular basis. And ever since the man has become the leader of the Catholic Church, exorcisms have apparently been on the rise, said an unnamed British exorcist priest:
"Until a few years ago, a significant number of people in the Church didn’t believe in the Devil, but people are now going back to the Scriptures. Pope Francis has given a certain amount of encouragement to that. A few years ago at least half the dioceses in England and Wales did not have an exorcist. Now, pretty much all of them do."
Now I have one question: Do you think they’re also stocking up on garlic and wooden stakes, as well?