Most of us—at least those of us who don’t live between the page of J.K. Rowling’s magical books—are Muggles. We have no way of appearing and disappearing in random places at will. We can’t actually achieve anything by waving a wand. We’d only eat cement if we tried flying on a broomstick.
But what if there was some sort of antidote to Muggledom that suddenly made you a wizard? You’d obviously need a crash course in everything and anything having to do with the Wizarding World, and the dangers that lurk from the corners of Knockturn Alley to the depths of the Forbidden Forest. Fortunately, we've got you covered with our latest vid.
If you magically became... magical, you probably wouldn’t get the hang of it right away. It might take half a day at Ollivander’s accidentally knocking over shelves and making things explode just trying to find the right wand (or waiting for the right one to find you).
Wait. If you’re even going to be allowed to do magic legally, you need a Hogwarts education, right? Meaning, you have to somehow travel back in time to the sixth grade and start your wizarding education by learning how to fly a broom without smashing your face into anything, and mastering the subtle art of the swish and flick so your wand doesn’t set things on fire like Seamus Finnegan’s. You will eventually graduate to things like repotting screaming mandrake roots, brewing potions that taste even worse than they smell, learning the taxonomy and anatomy of every magical creature that exists, and conjuring a Patronus charm to ward off any Dementors that might come looking to eat your soul. Okay, they don’t exactly eat your soul, but devouring every pleasant memory you ever had until all that inhabits your brain is darkness comes pretty close.
Regardless, prepare yourself for the latest from the Wizarding World, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, with this quick rundown of the magical realm populated by Harry Potter, Newt Scamander, and their many trusted friends… and dreaded enemies. Watch to see if you have the toil and trouble to be a wizard, or if you’d rather just hang out in the Muggle world where things like basilisks and Voldemort don’t exist. Just remember that the world won’t come crashing down if you’re sorted into Slytherin.