We reviewed themed cocktails at San Diego Comic-Con and lived to tell the tale

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Jul 24, 2018, 2:00 PM EDT

One would think that sitting down and ordering six drinks would get me at least a weird look, but not today, my friends. Not today.

Such is the magic of San Diego Comic-Con.

Tons of bars and restaurants around the convention center got in on the festivities, organizing themed menus and drinks. Now, obviously, we didn't try all the themed drinks in the convention-area, what with how I am very much alive to type this at this moment. But a few FANGRRLS — managing editor Cher Martinetti, Heather Mason and myself — perused a few of these offerings and lived to tell the tale. 

Star Dust Dream
A combination of Ketel One vodka, fresh raspberry, St. Germaine, fresh lemon, honey and prosecco.

Like if Taylor Swift was a cocktail, this drink was enjoyable for about two sips before realizing we'd made a horrible mistake. "It tastes like someone left a sugar-free vegan gluten-free ice pop out in the sun," Cher said. Even so, this is the one I kept going back to, regretting it every time because it was the "Shake It Off" of drinks.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 Infinity Stones.


The Black Widow
Made with açai-infused vodka, raspberry, fresh lemon and Demerara.

This just tasted like watery raspberry juice. Cher referred to it as a Crystal Light. Mostly I was excited about this delightfully named ingredient "Demerara" which Heather and really enjoyed saying. 

Rating: 2 out of 5 Infinity Stones. Demerararararararara.


Thor's Hammer
A combination of fig-infused Redemption bourbon, fresh lemon and honey.

This was fine. You couldn't taste any fig, which is what I wanted most, but it was a perfectly fine Gold Rush. But was it worthy? Not for Cher. "He's the God of Thunder. If you're going to call it Thor's Hammer, put some respect on his name."

Rating: 3 out of 5 Infinity Stones.


Thanos Juice
Made with green apple-infused vodka, fresh lime and R&D cherry apple bitters.

I recorded our conversation discussing these drinks. And upon tasting this I very loudly said "OH I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS AT ALL." Cher pointed out this was all bitters, which was helpful because I thought maybe it was all toilet cleanser. Also it was bright green which isn't particularly evocative of Thanos or whatever this drink is implying to be his juice, though maybe it is, I don't know his life. 

Rating: 1 out of 5 Infinity Stones.


Spider-Man Mule
A combination of fresh lime, rosemary, ginger beer and bitters, with a choice of Nolet’s gin or Ketel One vodka.

I know mules. And you sir are no mule. It was Like this drink thinks it's Spider-Man but it's actually the Russian neighbor girl when she was in the first two Tobey Maguire movies. Like you know it's supposed to mean something but you don't quite care enough to find out, but it's also not entirely unpleasant. Also you're pretty sure it's not actually from Moscow nor is it a mule. They should have just called it That Russian Girl From the Raimi Ones because they have a lot in common.

Rating: 1 out of 5 Infinity Stones.


Nebula’s Special Treat
A combination of Metaxa brandy, Greek red wine, peaches, orange zest, cinnamon and sparkling ginger.

Look, several of these drink names sound vaguely inappropriate and this one is no exception. While the most questionable of name, it was also the worst drink. It tasted like a drugstore candle. It tasted like sad Chistmas. It tasted like a car air freshener on the 60th day. It tasted like someone just said the word "sangria" kind of near you while holding an orange. 

Rating: 0 out of 5 Infinity Stones. It was only a $9 drink but what did it cost?

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