With $1.5 billion on the line, there's a good chance that you and almost everyone you know has got Powerball tickets clutched firmly in hand. And who could blame you? When there's that much scratch up in the air, it's almost impossible not to catch a little lottery fever.
And it turns out, you're not alone! In addition to your relatives, your friends, Steve (GOD SHUT UP, STEVE), some diabolical villains are trying their luck, too. And being the intrepid reporter I am, I found out what a few of the most sinister baddies in the world would do with the Powerball winnings.
Construct enormous screens in all the poorest parts of the world and then show video of him burning the money a little bit at a time. Don't be so angry! Think of all the guards that will be needed to make sure those screens stay up. That's job creation right there, you ask me.
Kilgrave (Jessica Jones)
Kilgrave wouldn't play, he'd just find the person who won and make them fork over all the winnings. And none of this taxable event nonsense. The government already has enough, don't they?
Then, he'd build a temple and allow people to come and beg for whatever money they need, which Kilgrave would be only too happy to provide. Of course, in exchange, the person would have to admit their greatest fear and then live it. But if you really need the money...small price to pay, isn't it?
Also, suits. He'd buy a lot of suits. Then take the money back.
Blaine DeBeers (iZombie)
Hire scientists to build a highly addictive brain substitute before turning the entire human population into zombies. Instant zombie utopia, friends! Live forever! Have cool, white hair! Or dye it some other color. Whatever! World's your oyster. Provided you worship at the altar of Blaine, of course.
And if you don't like that? Well, there's plenty of new real estate available on the Moon. No atmosphere, but it's got some lovely views.
Ramsey Snow/Bolton (Game of Thrones)
Ramsey would also be in the lending business. How many fingers have you got? Tell you what, $10,000 for each one you can gnaw off yourself. $100,000 it if you think you can manage to chew off the whole hand, one finger at a time, of course. And there's always a special going on for genitals!
Oh, stop crying and throw your appendages on the pile along with the rest.
Well, Ultron would give the money away, of course! Ultron doesn't need money. He just wants to see humanity happy. Right before he ends its entire civilization. Falls are always their most fun from the greatest of heights, after all.
Immortan Joe (Mad Max: Fury Road)
He'd go to the nearest bank (how's that for an image) and ask for the entire $1.5 billion in pennies. Then, he'd build an enormous safe on a cliff high above the rest of the world where he'd keep all of it. Occasionally he'd open the flood gates and loose a few thousand of the pennies onto the plebians trying to catch the money below. Eventually, they'd learn to wait until the pennies finished falling, but every once in a while someone would rush in and get crushed to death by tiny Abe Lincoln faces.
Captain Cold (The Flash)
How many terrible cold puns can $1.5 billion buy? You know what? Never mind, Snart will give you those for freeze. HA HA HA. But seriously, Snart would probably pay the Flash whatever it would cost so that Barry wouldn't bother him during his crime spree. After all, having money's not as fun if you don't get to steal it. Plus, it would be hilarious watching the Flash apologize for not helping before paying people the cost of whatever was stolen from them.
Fish Mooney (Gotham)
Honey, you didn't think she was dead, did you? Please! She was just waiting to make her grand entrance. And $1.5 billion? That'll do just fine. She'd buy Gotham City, burn it to the ground and then rebuild a fabulous haven for wigs, too much eyeshadow, and more glitter and body shapers than an army of drag queens would need. Related: Fish Mooneyville would be mostly populated by drag queens. No regrets.
Harley would give all the money to her boo boo, the Joker, who would then turn around and have her killed just because he can. She'd narrowly escape and then team up with Poison Ivy to kill Harley's former puddin'. Don't worry, though, in the end Joker and Harley would reunite after Batman took all the money and gave it to orphans or something. That Batman -- just the wettest of blankets.
Build giant spacestations that just play Joy Division, Elliott Smith, and The Smiths all the time. That would be kinda cool, I guess.