This article contains spoilers for the The Shannara Chronicles episode "Ellcrys."
Previously on The Shannara Chronicles ... the Ellcrys is dead, Amberle disappears in a puff of smoke, and Eretria is bleeding out.
Now on The Shannara Chronicles ... it's almost over! Oh, sweet, merciful Teen Wolf, it's all almost over. For now. There could be a Season 2, but for now the nightmare ends. And what an ending it is.
You know, one of the benefits of reviewcapping a show after it airs rather than getting a screener copy is that you get to see other reviewers' reactions first. And most people really liked this finale! Isn't that nice?
So, the good news is that, if you're still feeling as salty ever about how disappointing this show has been, I've got your back until the bitter @#$ing end.
So ... what happened this episode, "Ellcrys," exactly?
- King Ander, the Elven army, and Slanter's gnome brigade are outnumbered a thousand to one. So their big plan is to fend off the demons by distracting them, protecting the shell of the Ellcyrs, and making sure Amberle and company can get back into Arborlon. Not a great plan, but kind of the only number left in the rolodex. It goes pretty well, except for the part where Arion rolls up, undead-style, with giant, evil sword in tow. He kills Commander Tilton, which is a drag, because she was basically the only black person on the show, before Ander kills him. Arion wants to die, so it's a super depressing act of mercy.
- Wil saves bloody, bloody Eretria Jackson with his elf stones, while Amberle discovers from the Bloodfire (who looks just likes her, way to save on that budget, MTV) that she, and not the seed-shaped thing she's been carrying around the whole time, is the actual seed for a new Ellcrys. So...she's gotta become a tree. Anyway, Eretria bleeds some more so she and Wil can get Amberle back in the world before the three attempt to bust out of Safehold and return to Arborlon. In the process, Eretria sacrifices her own safety to block off some masked villains from catching Amberle and Wil. Later, Amberle admits that she's in love with Wil, the two have what I have to assume is some very, very brief groin funs, before Allanon bails them out of some demon trouble and they all return to Arborlon. Once there, Amberle revives the Ellcrys by joining with it...or she's just a brand new tree? I dunno. Either way, I guess we should call her Timberle from now on. Allanon decapitates the Dagda Mor, Wil grumbles a bit before leaving to find Eretria, and Eretria realizes, as her captor removes their mask, that she knows who they are.
- Bandon is in Elf jail but escapes because Catania very foolishly trusts him. Then, at the very end, we see Bandon, all evil-black-eyed holding the sword Arion had from earlier. That's it. That's his and Catania's whole plot.
Oh, good. We've made it to the part where I'm supposed to talk about the goods and the bads of the episode. One of those is gonna be a SHORT LIST. Guess which?
- The fight sequences were pretty good???
- I kind of felt bad for Ander, Arion, and Tilton???
- Eretria was a really solid dude the whole episode???
- You know, in the books, Amberle has to absorb the Bloodfire in order to become the new Ellcrys. You know where this was never mentioned? The MTV show that calls itself The Shannara Chronicles. Which basically made it seem like Amberle had the brains/heart/courage all along. Which is incredibly stupid. Dudes. Just explain why they had to go to Safehold. Takes two seconds. Otherwise it seems like a pointless quest that caused a ton of unnecessary casualties.
- Dat awkward sex scene, tho. Wil and Amberle, surrounded by demons, get themselves up into a little dark hole so Wil can get himself up into a...well, you get it. I mean I know Wil's got wood and Amberle's about to BE wood, but this is ridiculous, even by MTV standards.
- Wil is super mad at Allanon for not telling Amberle the truth about her destiny, but then one scene later everything between them is cool. On the next episode of Wil and
Grace Allanon, Wil gets MAD. No wait, he's over it. Tune in for all the laughs!
- Bandon is not in the books, but that doesn't mean he has to feel completely tacked on. But he does. Constantly. And showing him be evil at the end without ever developing his character well in the first place and expecting your audience to care is lunacy. So, Bandon literally exists to set up a Season 2, and nothing more.
- And speaking of Season 2, if it ever happens, it's clear that it'll be an immediate continuation. Which means that the show will completely depart from the books. Considering that the only things that kind of worked on the show were ripped from the books, that doesn't sound like a great idea.
- Hey, remember Perk? The guy with the cool, flying dragon-type thing? Wouldn't it have been awesome if he showed up during the final battle and helped out? He does in the books, almost like his appearence is a kind of foreshadowing. But, uh...nah. Let's just leave him for a next season we're not even sure we'll be getting. GREAT IDEA.
That's it. The Shannara Chronicles rage-spewing is complete. The finale was so bad that I didn't even talk about what a tasty slice of beefcake Allanon is. That's how you know I hated it.
But maybe you loved it -- some people did! So, if "some people" be ye, then let the world know in the comments.
Oh, and one more thing -- if you've enjoyed reading these reviewcaps, our journey doesn't have to end here. I'm moving on from the Four Lands to someplace even more insane -- Gotham. And that show is the kind of crazy I actually enjoy a not-insignificant portion of the time. So feel free to join me there where I'm, dare I say it, pleasant from time-to-time (my first review is already up).