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Credit: Paramount Pictures

Why do the live-action Sonic's legs look so weird and horny?

Contributed by
Dec 12, 2018

I want you to think about Sonic the Hedgehog’s penis. Just really visualize it. Imagine Sonic as a real, physical being; a creature of flesh, blood, and carnal desires.

Hell of a marketing strategy, and the first posters for the live-action Sonic movie invite that thought exercise. The first poster, which hit the web on Monday, depicted a backlit Sonic with a drastically different design. We can’t see his features, but we can see his long, muscular arms and legs. He’s also covered in blue fur, which is weird because hedgehogs are covered in spines, not blue fur. But, hey, real hedgehogs don’t gotta go fast, so maybe we can chalk that one up to creative license.

Sonic the Hedgehog

Credit: Paramount Pictures

This new Sonic design — which looked like it was created by somebody who posts his SFW drawings on DeviantArt and saves the hard stuff for his Fur Affinity account — got the internet’s attention, with fans using measured phrases like “abomination” to describe it. The shock of Sonic’s new look was quickly followed up by a second presumed poster on Tuesday, which offers a better look at Sonic’s toned legs from the point of view of his... tails?

If Sonic’s executive producer Tim Miller, who also directed Deadpool, made the live-action Sonic such obvious furry-bait on purpose, then it’s was one hell of a gambit. One almost has to believe the folks making the Sonic the Hedgehog movie are leaning into Sonic’s unsettling, semi-ironic niche sex fandom by choice, because it’s hard to imagine them stumbling into a more unfortunately apt design by chance.

It’s hard to pin down exactly when Sonic the Hedgehog became the poster child for weird fan art. Sonic had humble beginnings as a somewhat pudgy blue speedster who ran loop-de-loops and rescued little animals from captivity. But, at some point, Sonic became horny. Maybe it’s because the games got increasingly complex and edgy. Sonic became taller, morphing into a middle schooler’s idea of what’s “cool.” He gained an evil counterpart named Shadow the Hedgehog, who uses guns. His games had increasingly convoluted plots about cities getting destroyed, werewolf transformations, and inter-species kisses. He became less of a character and more of a market-researched idea of a character, but his creators accidentally created an icon for edgelords and furries.

It’s also hard, in this irony-poisoned online environment, to tell how much of the weird and/or horny Sonic memes and art are sincere, and how many are people playing along with the joke. Even the official Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter account has gotten weird, suggesting that at least somebody at SEGA understands what they’re wrought and wants to have a little self-aware fun. Chances are the reason why there’s so much strange Sonic art is because it has a reputation for being a strange fandom, which only begets more strange sonic art.

But that poster, though. This isn’t some fan’s radical redesign of Sonic they made with Microsoft Paint. This is how the makers of an expensive movie are trying to tease the official look of the live-action Sonic. And, what they opted to go with was a shot of Sonic’s legs that, despite the fur, look unsettlingly human. Add to that the perspective from which we’re looking at his legs, and the exact point where the bottom of the poster cuts off the image, and you have to imagine that somebody, some time, brought up that it kinda draws a lot of attention to the existence or non-existence of Sonic’s dick. And then they still made the poster, and are continuing to make this movie.

Sonic the Hedgehog will hit theaters on November 8, 2019, and it’s already looking like the entire promotional campaign leading up to this fever-dream of a movie will be buck-wild.


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