Ever wondered why there's no life on Mars or, if there once was life there, where the heck it went? Whatever theories either of us have managed to come up with, we're willing to bet that none of them were as wild as the one that just came from Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.
You might think the lack of life on the Red Planet has something with it being too close to or too far from the sun, or it being the wrong size to hold on to its gravity, but according to Chavez, the root cause of the problem is ... capitalism.
In a speech marking World Water Day, the socialist president explained it all:
"I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet. ... Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts."
So there you have it. There WERE Martians, and they were capitalists!
Glad we've got that all straightened out.