As we know, Cabin in the Woods sat piteously on a shelf for two years before someone had the brains, guts and other viscera to release it. That was nothing — The I Love Lucy movie was shelved for 48 years. But that’s less than half the time it will take for people to see 100 Years: The Movie You’ll Never See, starring John Malkovich and directed by Robert Rodriguez.
Because as the title tells ya, it won’t be released for one hundred years.
100 Years was produced by cognac maker Rémy Martin, founded in 1724 and makers of a specialty cognac, Louis XIII, that's aged in centuries-old oak barrels for one hundred years. You see the connection.
Little is known about 100 Years, except that it was based on an idea by Malkovich himself. But there are three teasers, below, based on three different versions of the future (none of which, io9 points out, will appear in the actual film):
In the first, the future seems to have been swallowed by nature. In the second, it’s a bleak industrialized version of 2115. In the third, we see a glittering world of wonder. The dialogue is the same, as is the action. But the different emotional nuances reflect the setting.
So, how will you see 100 Years? Unless you have some incredibly good genes or some sweet unheard-of life-extension technology, you won’t. But 1,000 “influential” people will receive a metal movie ticket, which they will pass down to their descendants.
But if you hook up with the right person, you'll rest easy, knowing your grandchild will be enjoying both vintage cognac and vintage Malkovich.