Dark Matter: Important Lady Robots
We like The Android on Dark Matter. Upon being reactivated, she beat the crap out of most of the crew of the Raza, then was promptly re-programmed to be the ship's go-to troubleshooter, problem solver and comic relief. More The Android!
In celebration of this lady robot, we corralled some of her lady robot colleagues. We can only dream that they one day all star in a movie or TV series together, Avengers-style.
(For the record, we'e not including any of the lady Replicants from Blade Runner, for philosophical reasons. But rest assured they're in our hearts.)
- Annalee Call (Winona Ryder), Alien Resurrection (1997)
"She makes an impression," says General Martin Perez (Dan Hedaya) of Call, the attractive young crew member of the good ship Betty. She makes an even bigger impression when she tries to shank Ripley 8 (Sigourney Weaver), the clone of Ellen Ripley ... and shows she's full of surprises when she wires herself into the mainframe of a military science vessel, setting it on a collision course with Earth to wipe out all the aliens cooked up in Brad Dourif's lab. Sweet.
- Gigolo Jane (Ashley Scott), Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001)
You know Gigolo Joe (Jude Law) from Steven Spielberg's ridiculously underrated mini-masterpiece. But do you remember Gigolo Jane? She had a blink-and-you'll-miss-her cameo, and your memory of it may be sparked by the following dialogue exchange:
Gigolo Jane: Hey Joe, what do you know?
Gigolo Joe: Hey Jane, how's the game?
Questions worth pondering.
- Number Six (Tricia Helfer), Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009)
Okay, so, technically, Number Six isn't really a robot, per se. But she is an advanced form of Cylon, and they were once basically just robots, and, so, remember your roots and all that. And also ... okay, we admit it: We just wanted an excuse to post a picture of Tricia Helfer. Can you blame us?
- Cherry 2000 (Pamela Gidley), Cherry 2000 (1987)
By 2017 (yeah, we know), robot technology has grown in leaps and bounds in post-apocalyptic (yeah, we know) America, with hot n' sexy androids who don't age or sag or argue substituting for wives. When the 'Cherry 2000' companion of wealthy executive Sam Treadwell (David Andrews) short-circuits during sex on the wet kitchen floor (come on, it's happened to all of us), he enlists Melanie Griffith to go into the no-man's-land of Zone 7 to snag a replacement. What a man won't do for, uh, love.
- Casella 'Cash' Reese (Angelina Jolie) Cyborg 2 (1993)
Yes, there is a Cyborg 2 (Cyborg 1 stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, but you knew that already). And yes, Angelina Jolie stars in it. And yes, you bet your life she doesn't include it on her resume. And yes, you should seek it out and watch it, ASAP.
- Eve VIII (Renée Soutendijk), Eve of Destruction (1991)
There's an android killing machine on the loose, made to look and sound like her lovely Dutch creator, and the only person who can stop her is ... Tap star Gregory Hines. You're darn right the stakes are high.
- Ava (Alicia Vikander), Ex Machina (2015)
To speak too much of Ex Machina would inadvertently reveal at least a few of its many secrets, but suffice to say that Ava, the artificial intelligence to which programmer Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) becomes perhaps unfortunately attached, will make you rethink what it means to be, er, "human."
- Kay-Em 14 (Lisa Ryder), Jason X (2001)
She's an android ... in outer space ... who fights an upgraded version of Jason Voorhees. She's not hard to love.
- Rosie (voiced by Jean Vander Pyl), The Jetsons (1962-1987)
Not only is Rosie the Robot from The Jetsons one of the most Important Lady Robots, she's one of the very first Important Lady Robots. In fact, she's the focus of the very first Jetsons episode, titled "Rosie [actually "Rosey," so hey] the Robot," which aired on September 23, 1962. Never was there a better maid in the past, present or future.
- Lenore (Nectar Rose), Serenity (2005)
Mr. Universe (David Krumholtz) is a techno-geek with a great affinity for data and a knack for intercepting pretty much any transmission from anywhere. Such a brilliant, lonely man -- who makes his home on an isolated moon, at that -- needs the affection and companionship of a love-bot wife. Obviously.
- Dot Matrix (voice by Joan Rivers, body by Lorene Yarnell), Spaceballs (1987)
Every Druish princess needs a Droid of Honor, and for Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga), that Droid is Dot Matrix, always on hand to make sure her lady's, uh, honor is protected from the likes of rogue scoundrels like Lone Starr (Bill Pullman). Y'see, Princess Vespa can only be married to a Prince, but luckily Lone Star has some unknown lineage to discover as he embarks on the path of The Schwartz. Oh, destiny!
- Bobbie (Paula Prentiss), The Stepford Wives (1975)
"How could you go and do a thing like that? When I was just going to give you coffee. I thought we were friends. I was just going to give you coffee. I thought we were friends. I was just going to give you coffee. I thought we were friends. I was just going to give you coffee. I thought we were friends ..."
- Cameron Phillips (Summer Glau), Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008-2009)
Really, what strapping future savior of humanity wouldn't want a cyborg guardian angel like Cameron? "Come with me if you want to live" -- umm, yes, right away, ma'am!
- T-X (Kristanna Loken), Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
She's badass enough to take on Arnold Schwarzenegger's T-800, turning a public bathroom into ceramic rubble (with her head) and making a young John Connor (Nick Stahl) accept (if not entirely embrace) the idea that if ya gotta go, going at the hands of a hot blonde mecha-killer isn't too bad an entry for the books. Rise, indeed!
- Alsatia Zevo (Joan Cusack), Toys (1992)
Yes, the sister of toyman Leslie Zevo (Robin Williams) is a robot. You'd've known that if you'd seen Toys. Why haven't you? (And for those of you who have, what's taking you so long to watch it again?)