Helix: The Three Most Effed-Up Moments - Vade in Pace

Friday, March 13, 2015 - 12:38

Welcome back. Let's get to it, 'cause there's some wonderfully effed-up stuff this week: incest, severed heads, immortal babies floating in jars …

Season 2, Episode 8: "Vade in Pace"

  1. The Planting Ritual
    One thing Amy's definitely good at is using her crazy-gal sex appeal to get what she wants. There she was, locked in a glass case with a bunch of poisonous plants, and all she had to do to get out was coo and bat her eyelashes at Michael, claiming she's finally ready to accept her "path": namely, gettin' busy with dear old Dad and giving him another daughter. So gross. They were just about to go at it on the table, too, when Landry and his gang of thugs interrupted the foreplay … and spared us what could've been the most disturbing sight on Helix yet. Good boy, Landry.


     
  2. Good Night, Michael
    Amy locked Michael nice and tight in the oubliette under three layers of concrete, though his own path wouldn't come to an end until 30 years later after he's rescued from his tomb by Julia. He tries to send her over a cliff to a watery grave, though his plans are thwarted by Caleb, who separates Michael's head from his shoulders with Hatake's sword. Even in death, Michael looks like he's still sermonizing, no?


     
  3. The Immortaletus
    Okay, so Sarah wasn't given an abortion — the whole thing was actually a kidnapping! Here's Sarah's kid, being held prisoner in a jar by Amy, who says Sarah can have her baby back if she makes her Immortal, too. Oh, man … Amy living forever? Can the universe handle such an exhausting prospect? Anyway, just look at this immortal baby floating in a damn jar with its silver eyes and everything. It looks like the effects team took pics of Alan and Sarah's faces and Photoshopped them together and made it into a weird baby face and then merged it with the starchild at the end of 2001. It's like the music video for Massive Attack's "Teardrop" but, you know, more effed-up.

Next Week: Hopefully more weird immortal baby!