WARNING: If you don't want to know what happened in this episode, don't read this photo recap!
Oh damn! That Bulshar's got some work ethic! While the remains of Black Badge is falling apart, he's been busy resurrecting Constance Clootie (FMA The Stone Witch), and putting her head back on her decrepit body.
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Speaking of getting busy, Doc — a vampire — takes down Robin in the middle of the woods, and sinks his fangs into him.
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But he has a change of heart, and only drains Robin of some of his blood. Jeremy, like Wynonna, casts Doc out of his life, but not before Doc warns him that Robin tastes something foul.
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Jeremy interrupts Wynonna's date with hot Charlie, the fireman, to tell her about Doc's malfeasance. She resolves to put an end to her ex's carnage, and invites Charlie along for the ride.
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Charlie traps Doc inside a rope soaked in holy water, while...
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Wynonna tangos with the Contessa.
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Doc and Charlie are joined by the Demon Clootie, who's not there for a drink. Charlie frees Doc from his circle of loneliness, so that Doc can summon his new vamp powers and gut punch the Demon halfway across the bar. But when Doc licks his wounds, he realizes: salt. The telltale sign of some witchcraft. They try to get Wynonna on the line.
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Meanwhile, Jeremy, Robin, Nicole and Waverly are all preparing for a big gay dinner — gay, in that all those in attendance are gay. But Robin is out of sorts, having just been bitten, raving about how Bulshar can talk to plants, and licking potatoes; and Nicole just found Bulshar's ring in a bun, after she swore she threw it away — the ring, not the bun.
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Before Doc and Charlie can throw Demon Clootie down the well, she revives herself, and drives off in their car.
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Demon Clootie has driven herself to the Contessa's place. This is night full of surprises!
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And Charlie has to knock out Doc before he lunges for his jugular.
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When the rest of the dinner guests find Robin, he's crouched, shirtless, in the barn going off about how Bulshar can talk to the roots. Eat something, buddy, you'll feel better.
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Then, the Mistress Clootie descends on the gang in the barn, looking for something. Could that something be the ring? Probably! Nicole tosses the ring that's burning a hole in the pocket. She warns Waverly NOT to touch it but... Waverly does and it's a perfect fit! When Clootie approaches to snatch it, Waverly summons superhuman strength to fend her off.
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After Clootie leaves, Waverly does damage control. Looks like Clootie stole a couple of souvenirs from Doc's cigar box, including three tarot cards. He had taken these tarot cards from the Contessa before she was a vampire, back when she was a traveling fortune teller. These were the cards she drew when reading Sheriff Clootie's fortune and now Sheriff Clootie (AKA Bulshar) wants 'em back.
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When Mistress Clootie hands Bulshar his cards... he seems rather pleased with the future one in particular.
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Well, Wynonna and the Contessa arrive too late. But in an act of kindness, Wynonna puts Mistress Clootie out of her misery.
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Waverly is having some trouble with the ring — in that, she can't get it off. When Jeremy inspects it more closely, he sees that there's a word on it in some ancient language. That wasn't there before. The word is: Paradise.
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Wynonna has the Contessa read her tarot as well, and a funny thing happens: she draws the same as she did for Bulshar. Wynonna and he are tarot twins! But the future is bleak: if Bulshar's plan goes through, he will be able to secure for himself an earthly paradise, like that of Adam and Eve. That's what the Ghost River Triangle has been protecting! Paradise, paradise. Coincidence? Probably not.
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Doc and Wynonna reconcile — they're going to need each other, vampire or not, in the fight against Bulshar. They must stop him before he can snatch up Paradise.
